"You do believe, Tom, dear; you have never seen the moment when you did
not. It was the doubt that was unreal. When the supreme test came, it
was God's hand that restrained you; you know it now--you knew it at the
time. And afterward it was His grace that enabled you to do what was
just and right. Haven't you admitted all this to yourself?"
They had crossed the white pike to the manor-house gates and were
turning aside from the driveway into the winding lawn path when he said:
"To myself, and to one other." Then, very softly: "I sat at my mother's
knee last night, Ardea, and told her all there was to tell."
Ardea's eyes were shining. "What did she say, Tom, dear--or is it more
than I should ask?"
"There is nothing you may not ask. She said--it wasn't altogether true,
I'm afraid--but she put her arms around my neck and cried and said: _For
this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found._"
She slipped her arm in his, and there was a little sob of pure joy at
the catching of her breath. The moon was just rising above the Lebanon
cliff-line, and the beauty of the glorious night-dawn possessed her
utterly. Ah, it was a good world and a generous, bringing rich gifts to
the steadfast! Instinctively she felt that Tom's little confession did
not require an answer; that he was battling his way to the heights which
must be taken alone.
So they came in the sacred hush of the young night to a great tulip-tree
on the lawn, and where a curiously water-worn limestone boulder served
as a rustic seat wide enough for two whose hearts are one they sat down
together, still in the companionship that needs no speech. It was Tom
who first broke the silence.
"I have been trying ever since that night last winter to feel my way
out," he said slowly. "But what is to come of it? I can't go back to the
boyhood yesterdays; in a way I have hopelessly outgrown them. Let us
admit that religion has become real again; but Ardea, girl, it isn't
Uncle Silas's religion, or--or my mother's, or even yours. And I don't
know any other."
She laid a hand on one of his.
"It is all right, dear; there is only the one religion in all
Christendom--perhaps in all the world, or in God's part of it. The
difference is in people."
"But this thing that has been slowly happening to me--this thing I am
trying to call convincement: shall I wake up some day and find it gone,
with all the old doubts in the saddle again?" he asked it almost
wistfully.
"Who can tell?" she said gently. "But it will make no difference; the
immutable fact will be there just the same, whether you are asleep or
waking. We can't always stand on the Mount of Certainty, any of us; and
to some, perhaps, it is never given. But when one saves his enemy's life
and forgives and forgets--O Tom, dear! don't you understand?"
But now his eyes are love-blinded, and the white-gowned figure beside
him fills all horizons.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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