In stolid malice Nelly Panton sits still, and listens with a certain
melancholy enjoyment of the mischief she has made, protesting, under her
breath, that “she meant nae ill; she aye did a’thing for the best;”
while Randall, forgetful of his own acknowledgment, repeats again and
again his indignant remonstrance, “a woman like this!”
“No, she has no such power,” said Menie firmly--“no such power. Pardon
me--I am wanted to-night. My strength is not my own to be wasted now; we
can conclude this matter another time.”
Before he could say a word the door had closed upon her. There was a
hustle without, a glimmer of coming lights upon the wall. In a few
minutes the room was lighted up, the lady of the house in her presiding
place--and Randall started with angry pride from the place where he
stood, by the side of Nelly Panton, whose gloomy unrelieved figure
suddenly stood out in bold relief upon the brightened wall.
Another time! Menie Laurie has not gone to ponder upon what this other
conference shall be--she is not by her window--she is not out of
doors--she has gone to no such refuge. Where she never went before, into
the heart of Miss Annie’s preparations--into the bustle of Miss Annie’s
hospitality--shunning even Jenny, far more shunning her mother, and
waiting only till the room is full enough, to give her a chance of
escaping every familiar eye. This is the first device of Menie’s mazed,
bewildered mind. These many days she has lived in hourly expectation of
some such blow; but it stuns her when it comes.
Forlorn! forlorn! wondering if it is possible to hide this misery from
every eye--pondering plans and schemes of concealment, trying to
invent--do not wonder, it is a natural impulse--some generous lie. But
Menie’s nature, more truthful than her will, fails in the effort. The
time goes on, the lingering moments swell into an hour. Music is in her
ears, and smiling faces glide before her and about her, till she feels
this dreadful pressure at her heart no longer tolerable, and bursts away
in a sudden passion, craving to be alone.
Another heart, restless by reason of a gnawing unhappiness, wanders out
and in of these unlighted chambers--oftenest coming back to this one,
where the treasures of its life rest night by night. This wandering
shadow is not a graceful one--these pattering hasty footsteps have
nothing in them of the softened lingering tread of meditation. No, poor
Jenny, little of sentiment or grace embellishes your melancholy--yet it
is hard to find any poem so full of pathos as a desolate heart, even
such a one as beats in your homely breast to-night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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