Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
“And then,” he said, “I came straight home to tell you. I don't suppose
you'll want me to live here any longer. It wouldn't be good for Kay; I'm
too wicked. I'm almost too bad for anybody. Kay--Kay'll never be able to
love me any more.”
They gazed at each other in silence. Barrington did not dare to trust
himself to talk; he knew that his voice would be unsteady. He was
frightened he would sink below Peter's standard and give way to crying.
He had to keep his eyes quite still for fear the tears would fall. And
he recalled the last confession that this room had heard--it was from
Ocky. He compared it with Peter's.
The minutes dragged on. Peter watched his father's face; he saw there
the worst thing of all--sorrow.
A coal falling in the grate took their attention for a moment from
themselves.
Barrington leant further forward. “What made you do it, Peter?”
“I loved him.”
“But what made you love him when you came to know all?”
“Because nobody else loved him.” Peter caught his voice tripping on a
sob and stopped.
“But he made other people unhappy. Just think for a minute: Aunt
Jehane's homeless and so are all your cousins.”
“I know. But it seemed so dreadful for him to be lonely, wandering
about--wandering about at Christmas.”
“But wasn't it his own fault?”
Peter bit his lip--he'd never thought of not loving people just because
they'd done wrong. Things were all so tangled. He remembered Jesus and
the dying thief on the cross. Surely that, too, was the thief's own
fault? But he knew that people rarely quoted the Bible except on
Sundays--so he just looked at his father and said nothing.--Again the
minutes dragged on.
There was a tap at the door. Glory entered shyly. “I'm going to bed,
Uncle. May I kiss you and Peter goodnight?”
Barrington nodded. “Come here, little girl; but first close the door.”
As she stooped over him, he slipped his arm round her and drew her to
his knee. “Peter isn't going to kiss you to-night. He thinks he isn't
worthy.”
“Peter not worthy!” She shook back the hair from her eyes and gazed from
Peter to her uncle incredulously.
“He doesn't think he's worthy to be loved by any of us. He expects he
won't live here much longer.”
“But why? Why?--Peter can't have done anything wicked.”
“I'm going to ask him to tell you what he's done, just as he told me.
And then I want you to say what you think of him.”
It was hard to have to repeat his confession, but Peter did it. While
he spoke, his father could feel how Glory's body stiffened and trembled.
Sometimes her eyes were unexcited, as though she were listening to an
old story. Sometimes they were like stars, fixed and glistening. When
the end was reached, she bowed her head on her uncle's shoulder, shaken
with deep sobbing. “Poor father! Oh, poor father!”
As she grew quiet, Barrington turned her face toward his. “And that,” he
said, “is why Peter thinks he isn't worthy. He's waiting, Glory. You've
not told him yet what you think of him.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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