Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
The Faun Man captured Peter's imagination and affections. He filled
him with strange new longings. He sent his spirit reaching out after
unattainable perfections, whose lure and desire are both the glamour and
torture of childhood. He made Peter want to be a man, so that he might
be like him. The Faun Man was a stained-glass window which, when looked
through, tinted and intensified life's values. Peter was going through
the experience of hero-worship which comes to most boys when sex is
dawning, and they have not yet realized that its sole and splendid
meaning is that woman shares the same world.
And yet there were moments when Peter almost feared his friend; his
character was a sand-desert in which the track followed yesterday was
soon wiped out. One day he would cry, “Ah, I know him!” and the next,
“I know nothing.” The whole passionate urgency of a child's heart in
friendship is to know everything.
But the Faun Man was too big and elusive to be known by one person.
Four walls could not contain him. He came into a house like a half-tamed
animal--but where had he been, where had he come from? He had tricks,
curious tricks, which linked him to the creatures which make their
homes in the leaves and holes of the earth. He seldom sat on chairs, but
huddled himself on the floor while he talked to you. He could sit for an
hour, saying nothing. In the middle of a conversation he would jump up
and go out without apology, as if he heard a voice which you had not
heard. And he had. The sound of the wind told him something, the altered
note of a thrush, the little shudder, scarcely perceptible, that ran
through the flowers; to him they all said something. If you asked him
what they said, he could not tell you. So it was no good wanting him to
belong to you; he belonged out there.
To Peter, who had always been smiled at for his compassion, it was
comforting to find some one as compassionate as himself. It removed the
dread of abnormality. There was a nightingale which used to come every
evening to sing in an apple-tree near the Happy Cottage. They used to
wait for the romance of its silver voice slanting across the velvet
dusk, as though it were a thing to be seen rather than heard. One night
they waited; it did not come.
The Faun Man grew nervous. He could not rest; at last he went in search
of it with Peter. Beneath the apple-tree they found it still warm, with
its wings stretched out. And then the unexpected happened. Kneeling
in the twilight beside the dead singer, as though music had departed
forever from the earth, the Faun Man wept.
And yet the same man could be harsh in anger--that was how Peter found
the fairy. On entering the cottage one afternoon he heard the sound of
sobbing upstairs and a voice protesting, “I didn't mean to do it. She
drove me mad--you and she together. You don't care for me--don't care
for me; and I love you better than anything in the world. Oh, do forgive
me, kind Faun Man.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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