Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction
And the golden woman! Peter saw her often: in Oxford; when he cycled
out with Harry to Tree-Tops; during his vacations in London. He couldn't
believe what Harry told him--that she was cold and selfish. Everything
that she did was tender, from the caressing way she had of speaking to
the childish frankness with which she slipped her hand into his own
when she was happy. She made everyone love her and everyone forgive
her--everyone except Harry and Cherry. She had studied the art of
appearing adorable, so that what in others were faults in her took on
the glamour of attractions. She was so fond of the Faun Man--why didn't
she marry him? Peter didn't know. He gave it up--shrugged his shoulders.
Somewhere underground, as in his own life, the body of love lay buried.
In the stillness, did he listen, he could hear jealousy gnawing--gnawing
like a rat in the coffin of a dead princess. Once, in reading one of the
Faun Man's books, he came across a jotting in the margin, the thought of
which had no bearing on the text. It was as though thwarted longing had
cried aloud, suddenly becoming aware of its own tragedy. The sentence
read: “Life is slipping away from us. I have tried to make you love me.
And yet----.”
The bond of sympathy which existed between himself and the golden woman
increased in strength and knowledge. He could talk to her of so many
things concerning which he was silent to other people. Being in love, he
had to talk to someone. She was so wise in the advice she gave him. By
the patience with which she listened, she seemed to tell him that she
herself had endured the same indifference. How that could be he did not
understand. She encouraged him to make confession. It became a habit.
Perhaps the trust which he placed in her flattered her. It may have been
that his capacity for being so sheerly young tantalized her--she desired
above all things to be always young herself. Without doubt his implicit
faith in her goodness helped to silence her self-despisings.
But she was not above using their friendship as a means of provoking the
Faun Man. She would slip her arm about Peter's neck and say, “No chance
for you now, Lorie.”
Her lover's eyes would rest on her broodingly and film over, hiding his
thoughts, “Oh, well, I have Cherry.” Even though Cherry knew that it was
said in pretence, her face would grow radiant. It hurt Peter. He would
willingly have given the best years of his life to make her care for him
like that. It was then that he listened, and heard within himself the
gnawing of the rat of jealousy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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