Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
He rose and went out of the house, possessed by the evil spirit. It
tortured him and wracked him, and fought in him. And whilst he worked,
in the deepening twilight, it left him. Suddenly he saw that she was
hurt. He had only seen her triumphant before. Suddenly his heart was
torn with compassion for her. He became alive again, in an anguish of
compassion. He could not bear to think of her tears—he could not bear
it. He wanted to go to her and pour out his heart’s blood to her. He
wanted to give everything to her, all his blood, his life, to the last
dregs, pour everything away to her. He yearned with passionate desire
to offer himself to her, utterly.
The evening star came, and the night. She had not lighted the lamp. His
heart burned with pain and with grief. He trembled to go to her.
And at last he went, hesitating, burdened with a great offering. The
hardness had gone out of him, his body was sensitive, slightly
trembling. His hand was curiously sensitive, shrinking, as he shut the
door. He fixed the latch almost tenderly.
In the kitchen was only the fireglow, he could not see her. He quivered
with dread lest she had gone—he knew not where. In shrinking dread, he
went through to the parlour, to the foot of the stairs.
“Anna,” he called.
There was no answer. He went up the stairs, in dread of the empty
house—the horrible emptiness that made his heart ring with insanity. He
opened the bedroom door, and his heart flashed with certainty that she
had gone, that he was alone.
But he saw her on the bed, lying very still and scarcely noticeable,
with her back to him. He went and put his hand on her shoulder, very
gently, hesitating, in a great fear and self-offering. She did not
move.
He waited. The hand that touched her shoulder hurt him, as if she were
sending it away. He stood dim with pain.
“Anna,” he said.
But still she was motionless, like a curled up, oblivious creature. His
heart beat with strange throes of pain. Then, by a motion under his
hand, he knew she was crying, holding herself hard so that her tears
should not be known. He waited. The tension continued—perhaps she was
not crying—then suddenly relapsed with a sharp catch of a sob. His
heart flamed with love and suffering for her. Kneeling carefully on the
bed, so that his earthy boots should not touch it, he took her in his
arms to comfort her. The sobs gathered in her, she was sobbing
bitterly. But not to him. She was still away from him.
He held her against his breast, whilst she sobbed, withheld from him,
and all his body vibrated against her.
“Don’t cry—don’t cry,” he said, with an odd simplicity. His heart was
calm and numb with a sort of innocence of love, now.
She still sobbed, ignoring him, ignoring that he held her. His lips
were dry.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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