Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
Then, when he came, she rose with her hands full of love, as of
flowers, radiant, innocent. A dark spasm crossed his face. As she
watched, her face shining and flower-like with innocent love, his face
grew dark and tense, the cruelty gathered in his brows, his eyes turned
aside, she saw the whites of his eyes as he looked aside from her. She
waited, touching him with her hands. But from his body through her
hands came the bitter-corrosive shock of his passion upon her,
destroying her in blossom. She shrank. She rose from her knees and went
away from him, to preserve herself. And it was great pain to her.
To him also it was agony. He saw the glistening, flower-like love in
her face, and his heart was black because he did not want it. Not
this—not this. He did not want flowery innocence. He was unsatisfied.
The rage and storm of unsatisfaction tormented him ceaselessly. Why had
she not satisfied him? He had satisfied her. She was satisfied, at
peace, innocent round the doors of her own paradise.
And he was unsatisfied, unfulfilled, he raged in torment, wanting,
wanting. It was for her to satisfy him: then let her do it. Let her not
come with flowery handfuls of innocent love. He would throw these aside
and trample the flowers to nothing. He would destroy her flowery,
innocent bliss. Was he not entitled to satisfaction from her, and was
not his heart all raging desire, his soul a black torment of
unfulfilment. Let it be fulfilled in him, then, as it was fulfilled in
her. He had given her her fulfilment. Let her rise up and do her part.
He was cruel to her. But all the time he was ashamed. And being
ashamed, he was more cruel. For he was ashamed that he could not come
to fulfilment without her. And he could not. And she would not heed
him. He was shackled and in darkness of torment.
She beseeched him to work again, to do his wood-carving. But his soul
was too black. He had destroyed his panel of Adam and Eve. He could not
begin again, least of all now, whilst he was in this condition.
For her there was no final release, since he could not be liberated
from himself. Strange and amorphous, she must go yearning on through
the trouble, like a warm, glowing cloud blown in the middle of a storm.
She felt so rich, in her warm vagueness, that her soul cried out on
him, because he harried her and wanted to destroy her.
She had her moments of exaltation still, re-births of old exaltations.
As she sat by her bedroom window, watching the steady rain, her spirit
was somewhere far off.
She sat in pride and curious pleasure. When there was no one to exult
with, and the unsatisfied soul must dance and play, then one danced
before the Unknown.
Suddenly she realized that this was what she wanted to do. Big with
child as she was, she danced there in the bedroom by herself, lifting
her hands and her body to the Unseen, to the unseen Creator who had
chosen her, to Whom she belonged.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account