Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
Her cry had given him gratification. But he knew he had been too sudden
for her. He was now careful. For a while he merely sheltered her. Also
there had broken a flaw into his perfect will. He wanted to persist, to
begin again, to lead up to the point where he had let himself go on
her, and then manage more carefully, successfully. So far she had won.
And the battle was not over yet. But another voice woke in him and
prompted him to let her go—let her go in contempt.
He sheltered her, and soothed her, and caressed her, and kissed her,
and again began to come nearer, nearer. He gathered himself together.
Even if he did not take her, he would make her relax, he would fuse
away her resistance. So softly, softly, with infinite caressiveness he
kissed her, and the whole of his being seemed to fondle her. Till, at
the verge, swooning at the breaking point, there came from her a
beaten, inarticulate, moaning cry:
“Don’t—oh, don’t!”
His veins fused with extreme voluptuousness. For a moment he almost
lost control of himself, and continued automatically. But there was a
moment of inaction, of cold suspension. He was not going to take her.
He drew her to him and soothed her, and caressed her. But the pure zest
had gone. She struggled to herself and realized he was not going to
take her. And then, at the very last moment, when his fondling had come
near again, his hot living desire despising her, against his cold
sensual desire, she broke violently away from him.
“Don’t,” she cried, harsh now with hatred, and she flung her hand
across and hit him violently. “Keep off of me.”
His blood stood still for a moment. Then the smile came again within
him, steady, cruel.
“Why, what’s the matter?” he said, with suave irony. “Nobody’s going to
hurt you.”
“I know what _you_ want,” she said.
“_I_ know what I want,” he said. “What’s the odds?”
“Well, you’re not going to have it off _me._”
“Aren’t I? Well, then I’m not. It’s no use crying about it, is it?”
“No, it isn’t,” said the girl, rather disconcerted by his irony.
“But there’s no need to have a row about it. We can kiss good night
just the same, can’t we?”
She was silent in the darkness.
“Or do you want your hat and umbrella to go home this minute?”
Still she was silent. He watched her dark figure as she stood there on
the edge of the faint darkness, and he waited.
“Come and say good night nicely, if we’re going to say it,” he said.
Still she did not stir. He put his hand out and drew her into the
darkness again.
“It’s warmer in here,” he said; “a lot cosier.”
His will had not yet relaxed from her. The moment of hatred exhilarated
him.
“I’m going now,” she muttered, as he closed his hand over her.
“See how well you fit your place,” he said, as he drew her to her
previous position, close upon him. “What do you want to leave it for?”
And gradually the intoxication invaded him again, the zest came back.
After all, why should he not take her?
But she did not yield to him entirely.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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