Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
She was not there. Patiently she sat, under the cloak, with Skrebensky
holding her hand. But her naked self was away there beating upon the
moonlight, dashing the moonlight with her breasts and her knees, in
meeting, in communion. She half started, to go in actuality, to fling
away her clothing and flee away, away from this dark confusion and
chaos of people to the hill and the moon. But the people stood round
her like stones, like magnetic stones, and she could not go, in
actuality. Skrebensky, like a load-stone weighed on her, the weight of
his presence detained her. She felt the burden of him, the blind,
persistent, inert burden. He was inert, and he weighed upon her. She
sighed in pain. Oh, for the coolness and entire liberty and brightness
of the moon. Oh, for the cold liberty to be herself, to do entirely as
she liked. She wanted to get right away. She felt like bright metal
weighted down by dark, impure magnetism. He was the dross, people were
the dross. If she could but get away to the clean free moonlight.
“Don’t you like me to-night?” said his low voice, the voice of the
shadow over her shoulder. She clenched her hands in the dewy brilliance
of the moon, as if she were mad.
“Don’t you like me to-night?” repeated the soft voice.
And she knew that if she turned, she would die. A strange rage filled
her, a rage to tear things asunder. Her hands felt destructive, like
metal blades of destruction.
“Let me alone,” she said.
A darkness, an obstinacy settled on him too, in a kind of inertia. He
sat inert beside her. She threw off her cloak and walked towards the
moon, silver-white herself. He followed her closely.
The music began again and the dance. He appropriated her. There was a
fierce, white, cold passion in her heart. But he held her close, and
danced with her. Always present, like a soft weight upon her, bearing
her down, was his body against her as they danced. He held her very
close, so that she could feel his body, the weight of him sinking,
settling upon her, overcoming her life and energy, making her inert
along with him, she felt his hands pressing behind her, upon her. But
still in her body was the subdued, cold, indomitable passion. She liked
the dance: it eased her, put her into a sort of trance. But it was only
a kind of waiting, of using up the time that intervened between her and
her pure being. She left herself against him, she let him exert all his
power over her, to bear her down. She received all the force of his
power. She even wished he might overcome her. She was cold and unmoved
as a pillar of salt.
His will was set and straining with all its tension to encompass him
and compel her. If he could only compel her. He seemed to be
annihilated. She was cold and hard and compact of brilliance as the
moon itself, and beyond him as the moonlight was beyond him, never to
be grasped or known. If he could only set a bond round her and compel
her!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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