Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
Ursula could hardly speak. The other naked woman stood by, stood near,
silent. Ursula was ready.
They ventured out into the darkness, feeling the soft air of night upon
their skins.
“I can’t see the path,” said Ursula.
“It is here,” said the voice, and the wavering, pallid figure was
beside her, a hand grasping her arm. And the elder held the younger
close against her, close, as they went down, and by the side of the
water, she put her arms round her, and kissed her. And she lifted her
in her arms, close, saying, softly:
“I shall carry you into the water.”
[Ursula lay still in her mistress’s arms, her forehead against the
beloved, maddening breast.
“I shall put you in,” said Winifred.
But Ursula twined her body about her mistress.]
After awhile the rain came down on their flushed, hot limbs, startling,
delicious. A sudden, ice-cold shower burst in a great weight upon them.
They stood up to it with pleasure. Ursula received the stream of it
upon her breasts and her limbs. It made her cold, and a deep,
bottomless silence welled up in her, as if bottomless darkness were
returning upon her.
So the heat vanished away, she was chilled, as if from a waking up. She
ran indoors, a chill, non-existent thing, wanting to get away. She
wanted the light, the presence of other people, the external connection
with the many. Above all she wanted to lose herself among natural
surroundings.
She took her leave of her mistress and returned home. She was glad to
be on the station with a crowd of Saturday-night people, glad to sit in
the lighted, crowded railway carriage. Only she did not want to meet
anybody she knew. She did not want to talk. She was alone, immune.
All this stir and seethe of lights and people was but the rim, the
shores of a great inner darkness and void. She wanted very much to be
on the seething, partially illuminated shore, for within her was the
void reality of dark space.
For a time Miss Inger, her mistress, was gone; she was only a dark
void, and Ursula was free as a shade walking in an underworld of
extinction, of oblivion. Ursula was glad, with a kind of motionless,
lifeless gladness, that her mistress was extinct, gone out of her.
In the morning, however, the love was there again, burning, burning.
She remembered yesterday, and she wanted more, always more. She wanted
to be with her mistress. All separation from her mistress was a
restriction from living. Why could she not go to her to-day, to-day?
Why must she pace about revoked at Cossethay whilst her mistress was
elsewhere? She sat down and wrote a burning, passionate love-letter:
she could not help it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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