Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
“And what sort of a teacher do you think you’d make? You haven’t the
patience of a Jack-gnat with your own brothers and sisters, let alone
with a class of children. And I thought you didn’t like dirty,
board-school brats.”
“They’re not all dirty.”
“You’d find they’re not all clean.”
There was silence in the workshop. The lamplight fell on the burned
silver bowl that lay between him, on mallet and furnace and chisel.
Brangwen stood with a queer, catlike light on his face, almost like a
smile. But it was no smile.
“Can I try?” she said.
“You can do what the deuce you like, and go where you like.”
Her face was fixed and expressionless and indifferent. It always sent
him to a pitch of frenzy to see it like that. He kept perfectly still.
Cold, without any betrayal of feeling, she turned and left the shed. He
worked on, with all his nerves jangled. Then he had to put down his
tools and go into the house.
In a bitter tone of anger and contempt he told his wife. Ursula was
present. There was a brief altercation, closed by Mrs. Brangwen’s
saying, in a tone of biting superiority and indifference:
“Let her find out what it’s like. She’ll soon have had enough.”
The matter was left there. But Ursula considered herself free to act.
For some days she made no move. She was reluctant to take the cruel
step of finding work, for she shrank with extreme sensitiveness and
shyness from new contact, new situations. Then at length a sort of
doggedness drove her. Her soul was full of bitterness.
She went to the Free Library in Ilkeston, copied out addresses from the
_Schoolmistress,_ and wrote for application forms. After two days she
rose early to meet the postman. As she expected, there were three long
envelopes.
Her heart beat painfully as she went up with them to her bedroom. Her
fingers trembled, she could hardly force herself to look at the long,
official forms she had to fill in. The whole thing was so cruel, so
impersonal. Yet it must be done.
“Name (surname first):...”
In a trembling hand she wrote, “Brangwen,—Ursula.”
“Age and date of birth:...”
After a long time considering, she filled in that line.
“Qualifications, with date of Examination:...”
With a little pride she wrote:
“London Matriculation Examination.”
“Previous experience and where obtained:...”
Her heart sank as she wrote:
“None.”
Still there was much to answer. It took her two hours to fill in the
three forms. Then she had to copy her testimonials from her
head-mistress and from the clergyman.
At last, however, it was finished. She had sealed the three long
envelopes. In the afternoon she went down to Ilkeston to post them. She
said nothing of it all to her parents. As she stamped her long letters
and put them into the box at the main post-office she felt as if
already she was out of the reach of her father and mother, as if she
had connected herself with the outer, greater world of activity, the
man-made world.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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