Domestic fiction; Family -- England -- Midlands -- Fiction; Midlands (England) -- Fiction
The latch of the door clicked, and they entered the big room. Ursula
glanced down the place. Its rigid, long silence was official and
chilling. Half-way down was a glass partition, the doors of which were
open. A clock ticked re-echoing, and Miss Harby’s voice sounded double
as she said:
“This is the big room—Standard Five-Six-and-Seven.—Here’s your
place—Five——”
She stood in the near end of the great room. There was a small high
teacher’s desk facing a squadron of long benches, two high windows in
the wall opposite.
It was fascinating and horrible to Ursula. The curious, unliving light
in the room changed her character. She thought it was the rainy
morning. Then she looked up again, because of the horrid feeling of
being shut in a rigid, inflexible air, away from all feeling of the
ordinary day; and she noticed that the windows were of ribbed, suffused
glass.
The prison was round her now! She looked at the walls, colour washed,
pale green and chocolate, at the large windows with frowsy geraniums
against the pale glass, at the long rows of desks, arranged in a
squadron, and dread filled her. This was a new world, a new life, with
which she was threatened. But still excited, she climbed into her chair
at her teacher’s desk. It was high, and her feet could not reach the
ground, but must rest on the step. Lifted up there, off the ground, she
was in office. How queer, how queer it all was! How different it was
from the mist of rain blowing over Cossethay. As she thought of her own
village, a spasm of yearning crossed her, it seemed so far off, so lost
to her.
She was here in this hard, stark reality—reality. It was queer that she
should call this the reality, which she had never known till to-day,
and which now so filled her with dread and dislike, that she wished she
might go away. This was the reality, and Cossethay, her beloved,
beautiful, wellknown Cossethay, which was as herself unto her, that was
minor reality. This prison of a school was reality. Here, then, she
would sit in state, the queen of scholars! Here she would realize her
dream of being the beloved teacher bringing light and joy to her
children! But the desks before her had an abstract angularity that
bruised her sentiment and made her shrink. She winced, feeling she had
been a fool in her anticipations. She had brought her feelings and her
generosity to where neither generosity nor emotion were wanted. And
already she felt rebuffed, troubled by the new atmosphere, out of
place.
She slid down, and they returned to the teacher’s room. It was queer to
feel that one ought to alter one’s personality. She was nobody, there
was no reality in herself, the reality was all outside of her, and she
must apply herself to it.
Mr. Harby was in the teachers’ room, standing before a big, open
cupboard, in which Ursula could see piles of pink blotting-paper, heaps
of shiny new books, boxes of chalk, and bottles of coloured inks. It
looked a treasure store.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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