Frightened, worried, sick at heart because her crowding doubts and
suspicions had suddenly developed into black certainty just when she
had thought them dead forever, Billy Louise rode up the narrow, rocky
gorge. She had come to have a vague comprehension of the temptation
Ward must have felt. She had come to accept pityingly the possibility
that the canker of old influences had eaten more deeply than appeared
on the surface. She had set herself stanchly beside him as his friend,
who would help him win back his self-respect. She felt sure that he
must suffer terribly with that keen, analytical mind of his, when he
stopped to think at all. He had no warped ethics wherewith to ease his
conscience. She knew his ideas of right and wrong were as
uncompromising as her own, and if he stole cattle, he did it with his
eyes wide open to the wrong he was doing. And yet--
"That's bad enough, but to try and fasten evidence on someone else!"
Billy Louise gritted her teeth over the treachery of it. She believed
he had done that very thing. How could she help it? She had seen the
corral and had seen Ward ride away from it in the dusk of evening; or
she believed she had seen him, which was the same thing. She knew that
Ward's prosperity was out of proportion with his visible resources.
And she knew what lay behind him. Was his version of the past after
all the correct one? Might not the paragraph she had burned been
nothing more than the truth?
Billy Louise fought for him; fought with her stern, youthful judgment
which was so uncompromising. It takes years of close contact with life
to give one a sure understanding of human weakness and human endeavor.
At the ford, when Blue would have crossed and taken the trail home,
Billy Louise reined him impulsively the other way. Until that instant
she had not intended to seek Ward, but once her fingers had twitched
the reins against Blue's neck, she did not hesitate; she did not even
argue with herself. She just glanced up at the sun, saw that it was
not yet noon--so much may happen in two or three hours!--and sent Blue
up the hill at a lope.
She did not know what she would do or what she would say when she saw
Ward. She knew that she was full of bitterness and disappointment and
chagrin. She had accused innocent persons of a crime. Ward had placed
her in that position and compelled her to recant and apologize. She
had offended Marthy beyond forgiveness--and Charlie Fox. Her face
burned with shame when she remembered the things she had said to them.
Ward was the cause of that humiliation; and Ward was going to know
exactly what she thought of him; beyond that she did not go.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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