Elam Parsons stood on the front porch of the Arrow ranchhouse for a long
time after Marion and Martha departed, watching them as they slowly
negotiated the narrow trail that led toward Dawes. Something of the
man’s guilt assailed his consciousness as he stood there—a conception
of the miserable part he had played in the girl’s life.
No doubt had not Fate and Carrington played a mean trick on Parsons, in
robbing him of his money and his prospects, the man would not have
entertained the thoughts he entertained at this moment; for success
would have made a reckoning with conscience a remote possibility, dim
and far.
And perhaps it was not conscience that was now troubling Parsons; at
least Parsons did not lay the burden of his present thoughts upon so
intangible a chimera. Parsons was too much of a materialist to admit he
had a conscience.
But a twinge of something seized Parsons as he watched the girl ride
away, and bitter thoughts racked his soul. He could not, however,
classify his emotions, and so he stood there on the porch, undecided,
vacillating, in the grip of a vague disquiet.
Parsons sat on the porch until long after noon; for, after Marion and
Martha had vanished into the haze of distance, Parsons dropped into a
chair and let his chin sink to his chest.
He did not get up to prepare food for himself; he did not think of
eating, for the big, silent ranchhouse and the gloomy, vacant appearance
of the other buildings drew the man’s attention to the aching emptiness
of his own life. He had sought to gain everything—scheming, planning,
plotting dishonestly; taking unfair advantage; robbing people without
compunction—and he had gained nothing. Yes—he had gained Carrington’s
contempt!
The recollection of Carrington’s treatment of him fired his passions
with a thousand licking, leaping flames. In his gloomy meditations over
the departure of the girl, he had almost forgotten Carrington. But he
thought of Carrington now; and he sat stiff and rigid in the chair,
glowering, his lips in a pout, his soul searing with hatred.
But even the nursing of that passion failed to satisfy Parsons.
Something lacked. There was still that conviction of utter baseness—his
own baseness—to torture him. And at last, toward evening, he discovered
that he longed for the girl. He wanted to be near her; he wanted to do
something for her to undo the wrong he had done her; he wanted to make
some sort of reparation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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