Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
Certainly she had helped him in another way, there was no doubt of that.
That sextette, thanks to her teaching, would be the smartest, best
mannered bunch of chorus-girls that had adorned a production of his in a
long, long time.
And here, perhaps, he came closer than anywhere else to an understanding
of the source of the girl's attraction for him. John Galbraith could
remember the time when, a nameless little rat of a cockney, he had slept
under London bridges, opened cab doors for half-pence, carried links on
foggy nights. By the clear force of genius he had made his way up from
that;--from throwing cart-wheels for the amusement of the queues waiting
at the pit entrances of theaters, from the ribald knock-about of East
End halls, from the hilarity of Drury Lane pantomimes. Professionally
his success was a solid indubitable thing. If he weren't actually
preeminent in his special field, at least there was no one who was
accorded a preeminence over him.
But another ambition, quite apart from the professional one, was hardly
so well satisfied. From the time of his very earliest memories he had
felt a passionate admiration for good breeding, and a consuming envy of
the lucky unconscious possessors of it. Since ten years old, he had
been possessed by the great desire to be acknowledged a gentleman. There
was nothing of vulgar veneer about this. It was the real interior thing
he wanted; that invisible yet perfectly palpable hall-mark which without
explanations or credentials, classified you. His profession had not
brought him in contact more than very infrequently with people of this
sort, and his personal interests never could be made to do so with
results perfectly satisfactory to himself. There it was,--the thing
those lucky elect possessed without a thought or an effort. It was an
indestructible possession, apparently, too. You couldn't throw it away.
Dissipation, dishonesty, even a total collapse that brought its victim
down to the sink that he himself had sprouted from, seemed powerless to
efface that hall-mark.
He learned to suppose that if it were indestructible, it was also
unattainable, though perhaps he himself failed of attaining it only in
the consciousness of having failed--in the inability to stop trying for
it, straining all his actions through a sieve in the effort to conform
to a standard not his own.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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