Alexandra, Empress, consort of Nicholas II, Emperor of Russia, 1872-1918
Anna instantly handed over the letters, but the difficulty arose as to
how best to destroy them. To burn them was impossible, as we had no
stove; I therefore decided to tear the letters up in minute pieces, and
throw them down the lavatory which we were permitted to use. In this
way, I destroyed what might have been considered “compromising”
documents!
After what seemed an interminable time, steps sounded in the corridor,
the door was flung open, and Kerensky entered. He deliberately turned
his back on Anna, but he surveyed me with the same appraising yet
hostile scrutiny. We looked at each other without speaking.... At last,
he shrugged his shoulders, and remarked to an officer:
“This place is damnably cold. Have the stove seen to immediately.”
He left us without another word, and we heard him speaking at some
length outside. The sentinels were then changed, and the soldier who was
on duty in our room began to talk to me.
“Well, Mademoiselle,” he said, “it’s ten thousand pities to see you
here ... you _do_ look sad. Whatever have you done?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s horrible ... they’ve no right to arrest young ladies like you.”
“Perhaps the new regulations are responsible for our arrest.”
“The new regulations!” The man laughed loudly. “That’s a good idea ... I
don’t think they’ll bring much luck. How can we get on without an
Emperor? Don’t imagine that _we_ wanted this. Do you think we joined
willingly? Why, they had to use force to get us ... we were unarmed, it
was no good attempting to resist them.”
This kindly soul came from South Russia, and, when I told him who I was
and where my estates were situated, he was ready to do anything for me.
“I’m on duty again to-morrow,” he said, “so try and write a letter, and
I’ll see that it’s delivered.”
Night fell, and we were faint with hunger and fatigue. A little soup was
brought us, but we could not swallow it. Every few minutes the door
opened, and soldiers came in and made fun of us.
“We’ve two pretty girls now to look at,” they mocked, but their laughter
was better than their coarse jokes ... some of these made me grow
scarlet with, shame, and I trembled lest their coarseness might become
something unspeakable. We wanted to wash ... but washing was
impossible--we had neither jug nor basin--the only water available was
that in the carafe. I opened my suit-case, and as Zanoty had put some
cotton-wool and lint with my things I quickly made a pad of some of the
wool, and, pouring a little water into the glass, I damped the pad and
mopped my face, drying it afterwards with some more cotton wool. At 1
a.m. we were surprised to see the two A.D.C.’s come in with some
soldiers. One of the A.D.C.’s addressed Anna.
“Madame ... we have orders to remove you.”
Anna caught hold of my hand. “Oh, Lili, Lili,” she moaned, “don’t let
them take me away. Can’t you come with me?... I daren’t go to another
prison without you.”
“Cannot you let me accompany Madame Virouboff?” I said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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