On March 3rd I took my _café au lait_ with Marie, and we were joined by the Empress. It was a day of agony. The Grand Duchesses grew worse: their ears were badly inflamed, it seemed as if they might not recover. The Empress tried to snatch a little rest by occasionally lying on a couch: her feet had now become very painful, and her heart affection was, at times, alarming. Meals were silent and horrible affairs: I felt as though each morsel would choke me. But, as I had now grown desperate with anxiety, I conceived the notion of communicating with the Emperor by aeroplane. Might not his whereabouts be discovered in this way? The Empress welcomed the idea, and she sent for General Resin, and asked for an aeroplane to be despatched at once. He agreed, but even the weather was against us.... A blizzard set in; the dark sky was blotted out with scudding snow, and the wind howled dismally round the Palace. The Grand Duke Paul arrived about 7 o’clock in the evening. The Empress was engaged in writing letters for the officers to convey to the Emperor, but she received the Grand Duke without a moment’s delay. The interview took place in the red drawing-room. Marie and I were in the adjoining study, and from time to time we heard the loud voice of the Grand Duke and the agitated replies of the Empress. Marie began to get apprehensive. “Why is he shouting at Mamma?” she asked. “Don’t you think I had better see what’s the matter, Lili?” “No, no,” I said, “we had better remain here quietly.” “_You_ can remain, but I’ll go to my room,” she answered. “I can’t bear to think Mamma is worried.” Hardly had the Grand Duchess left the study when the door opened and the Empress appeared. Her face was distorted with agony, her eyes were full of tears. She tottered rather than walked, and I rushed forward and supported her until she reached the writing-table between the windows. She leant heavily against it, and, taking my hands in hers, she said brokenly: “_Abdiqué!_” I could not believe my ears. I waited for her next words. They were hardly audible. At last: “_Le pauvre ... tout seul là bas ... et passé ... oh, mon Dieu, par quoi il a passé! Et je ne puis pas être près de lui pour le consoler._” “_Madame, très chère Madame, il faut avoir du courage._” She paid no attention to me, and kept on repeating, “_Mon Dieu, que c’est pénible.... Tout seul là bas!_” I put my arms around her and we walked slowly up and down the long room. At last, fearing for her reason, I cried: “_Mais Madame--au nom de Dieu--il vit!!_” “Yes, Lili,” she replied, as if new hope inspired her. “Yes, he lives.” “I entreat you, Madame, don’t lose your courage, don’t give way: think of your children and of the Emperor.” The Empress considered me with almost painful scrutiny. “And you, Lili, what of you?” “Madame, I love you more than anything in this world.” “I know it--I see it, Lili.”