United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
That gentleman made a strong effort to control joints which seemed
unmanageable, and succeeded in assuming a tolerable erectness,
while he blinked at his companion with stolid gravity.
“Abe, shis ish great 'casion. Greatest in she annalsh of she country.
We're only represhentatives Government in she town. Burden whole
shing fallsh on us. Understand? We musht do everyshing. Understand?
Country 'spects every man to do his duty. Undershtand?”
Abe sank down on a bench, leaned his head against the wall, and
looked at his companion with one eye closed wearily.
“Yesshir,” Kent resumed, summoning up a new supply of oratorical
energy, and an official gravity beneath which his legs trembeled.
“Name shis town's London. Shame name's big town 'cross ocean. Lots
history c'nected wish name. Shtacks an' cords of it. Old times
when King went out t'meet him, wish shtyle pile on bigger'n a
haystack. Fact. Clothes finer'n a peacock. Tendered him keys,
freed'm city. All shat short shing. Ver' impreshive shpectacle.
Everybody felt better'n for improvin' sight. Undershtand? We'll
be Lord Mayor and train for shis London. We can rig out right
here. Our trouseau's here in shis hair trunk.”
“Shall we get anyshing t' drink?” inquired Abe making a temporary
collection of his wits with a violent effort.
“Abe!” the freezing severity of Kent's tone and manner would have
been hopelessly fatal to early vegetables. “Abe you've many good
qualities--more of 'em shan any man I know. but a degrading passion
fur shtrong drink is ruinin' you. I'm your besht fren, an' shay
it wish tearsh in m' eyes. Lemme beg o' you t' reform ere it ish
too late. Beware of it, my fren, beware of it. It shtingeth like
a serpent, an' biteth like a multiplier--I mean an adder. You
haven't got my shuperb self-control, an' so yer only shafety lies
in total abstinence. Cheese it, my fren, cheese it on she sheductive
but fatal lush.”
“Are we goin' out t' meet she boysh?” inquired Abe.
“Shertainly we are. Yesshir. An' we're goin' out ash I proposed.
Yer a shplendid feller, Abe,” continued Kent, with lofty patronage.
“A shplendid feller, an' do great credit t' yer 'portunities.
But y' haven't had my 'dvantages of mingling constantly in p'lite
s'ciety, y'know. Rough diamond, I know, 'nall that short o' shing,
but lack polish an' easy grace. So I'll be th' Lord Mayor, an'
y'll be th' train. Undershtand?”
He lurched forward, and came near falling over the chair, but recovering
he stiffened up and gazed on that useful article of furniture with
a sternness that implied his belief that it was a rascally blackleg
trying to insinuate itself into the circle of refinement and chaste
elegance of which he was the particular ornament.
“Come,” he resumed, “le's bedizen ourselves; le's assume th'
shplendor 'propriate t' th' 'casion.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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