Percentages from haberdashers and shirt-makers, tailors, bootmakers, jewellers. Double bills: one for me, one for you—you pocket the difference? VALET (_astounded at his accuracy_) Mr. Magnus, I swear— SCHWARTZENHOPFEL Don’t perjure yourself. Take one hundred and fifty dollars a month—I’m buying back your self-respect with the extra fifty and giving it to you. But if you cheat again—remember, if you cheat again—jail! VALET (_with tears in his eyes and choking voice_) Sir— SCHWARTZENHOPFEL Wait in there. (_Points to the door, and the valet goes out; then to chauffeur_) And I give you? CHAUFFEUR (_trembling_) One hundred and twenty-five dollars a month, sir. SCHWARTZENHOPFEL And the gasoline you take out every night and put back in the morning? The extra shoes that don’t wear out? The valve-cleaning and new parts that only figure in the bill? Other things—how much do they come to? CHAUFFEUR Mr. Magnus— SCHWARTZENHOPFEL Don’t lie. Please—how much? CHAUFFEUR (_whining_) I don’t know, sir. Please— SCHWARTZENHOPFEL Take one seventy-five and be a decent man—a skilled mechanic who respects himself and his craft too much to be a thief. Will that do? CHAUFFEUR (_thickly_) If they all treated us like that, nobuddy ’ud steal except dirty scoundrels, sir. (_Goes out_) MRS. FELIX You see: the generals make the morals of their soldiers. Let generals loot a church-treasure, and the privates will loot a hen-roost. Magnus steals a Subway. Therefore, his manager steals his profits, his valet steals his stickpins, his chauffeur his gasoline. SCHWARTZENHOPFEL Reform always begins at the top, _I_ know. The trouble with us—(_corrects himself_) with Socialists and anarchists—they try to begin reforms among the ignorant. It will take me many years to break even with my criminal misunderstanding. MRS. FELIX (_suddenly touched_) I’ll help you. (_In a whisper_) I love you, John— [_The light jumps._ MRS. FELIX (_with her hand on his shoulder_) I’ve always wanted to say “Yes”—always hoped for the day when your great brain would resent the petty use you were making of it— [_Fanny does not hear this. For some time she has been sitting all humped up, staring blankly into space. Doll Blondin sits in same position, showing the same attitude, and the same lack of expression. The two of them look more like decorative statues than human beings, one on either side of the room. The light flies about distractedly. Mrs. Felix slowly drawing the startled Schwartzenhopfel around until he faces her and stares into her eyes._ SCHWARTZENHOPFEL (_stutters_) When I’m—wor—worthy, I—I ’ll ask you to say “Yes” again—I don’t de—deserve you yet— [_Doll Blondin turns wearily around to watch them. Fanny does the same. The light pauses, satisfied._ MRS. FELIX John Magnus—you’re a great man at last— (_Smiling shyly, she practically offers her cheek to be kissed_) Remember _my_ worthless years, too, and _consider_ you’re worthy now—