The Red Light of Mars; or, A Day in the Life of the Devil: A Philosophical ComedyBronson-Howard, George
Philosophy
The Red Light of Mars; or, A Day in the Life of the Devil: A Philosophical Comedy
Bronson-Howard, George
Devil -- Drama; Long Island (N.Y.) -- Drama
[_The Devil crosses to the table, scowling. Fanny tags after him,
holding on to one of his fingers. The Devil looks sternly at the light.
Then he turns to the women and touches the switch-key of the lighted
electric cigar-lighter._
THE DEVIL
When I turn this off, it will disappear! (_He waits for Magnus to
understand. Then, showily, he snaps off the electric-lighter, bending
down as if it required some effort_) You see?
[_The light does not budge._
DOLL BLONDIN (_since Fanny is looking admiringly at The Devil and Mrs.
Felix is hiding her head on Schwartzenhopfel’s shoulder_)
But it didn’t work!—
THE DEVIL (_looking up and seeing it, nonplussed and desperate_)
No?
DOLL BLONDIN
No. There it is. See?
THE DEVIL (_boldly_)
Nonsense. (_He fixes her with his eyes_) It’s gone: d’you hear? It’s
gone!
DOLL BLONDIN (_fascinatedly watching him_)
It’s gone?
MRS. FELIX
But _I_ see it!
THE DEVIL (_fixing her with his eyes_)
Nonsense. It’s gone, d’you hear? Gone!
MRS. FELIX (_with the same expression as Doll_)
Gone?
[_Fanny looks up._
THE DEVIL (_catching her eye before she can look at the light_) You
see, it’s gone, don’t you? Gone?
FANNY (_in the same manner as others_)
Gone?
THE DEVIL
And now, why haven’t _you_—gone?
FANNY
And leave her in the house? (_Nodding toward Doll_)
THE DEVIL
Is it your house?
FANNY (_boldly_)
Yes, it is!
THE DEVIL (_taken aback_)
What?
FANNY
Our house! (_Sweetly_) And, Addington, dear: it could be mine if I
sued you for breach of promise! You know I’d win—your letters are so
dear! And the engagement announcement that was in all the papers—and
our pictures together in that Sunday Supplement—I can’t imagine where
they get those pictures, can you? Framed heart-shape with the dearest
little Cupids shooting arrows at us—you know, how you loved it—
THE DEVIL (_revolted_)
I loved it!
FANNY (_continuing_)
And your money’s in trust, dear. You can’t touch the principal. So
you’d have to sell this house to pay my damages. And you know I
wouldn’t let you sell it, not to strangers—I’d just come and live in
it, going about every day and kissing things I knew your dear hands had
touched, and sitting in your favorite places, waiting for the day you’d
come back and we’d sit there together!
[_The Devil grits his teeth._
FANNY (_almost cloyingly sweet_)
Oh, you could come here every day and work in your laboratory. I’d let
you—you’d be quite welcome—
DOLL BLONDIN (_her sense of humor triumphing_)
You’re some sticker, sister—I gotta hand it to you. Talk about glue!
THE DEVIL (_desperately_)
You wouldn’t do that—your womanly instinct—your sense of shame—your
position in society—
DOLL BLONDIN
No use grasping at straws like that, Doctor. You’re gone!
MRS. FELIX (_in wonderment_)
I never imagined she had it in her. (_Mildly_) There’s no doubt she
loves you, Addington. No girl would endure the insults you’ve heaped on
her today—(_hastily_) not that she didn’t deserve them—
FANNY (_naïvely_)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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