Disabled veterans -- England -- Fiction; People with disabilities -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- England -- Fiction
On the other hand, for the sake of principle, reparation for injustice,
I continued to like the fellow and found pleasure in his company. For
one thing, I hankered after the smoke and smell and din of the front,
and Boyce succeeded more than anyone else in satisfying my appetite.
While he talked, as he did freely with me alone, I got near to the grim
essence of things. Also, with the aid of rough military maps, he made
actions and strategical movements of which newspaper accounts had given
me but a confused notion, as clear as if I had been a chief of staff.
Often he went to considerable trouble in obtaining special information.
He appeared to set himself out to win my esteem. Now a cripple is very
sensitive to kindness. I could not reject his overtures. What
interested motive could he have in seeking out a useless hulk like me?
On the first opportunity I told Betty of the new friendship, having a
twinge or two of conscience lest it might appear to her disloyal.
"But why in the world shouldn't you see him, dear?" she said,
open-eyed. "He brings the breath of battle to you and gives you fresh
life. You're looking ever so much better the last few days. The only
thing is," she added, turning her head away, "that I don't want to run
the risk of meeting him again."
Naturally I took precautions against such an occurrence. The
circumstances of their last meeting at my house lingered unpleasantly
in my mind. Perhaps, for Betty's sake, I ought to have turned a cold
shoulder on Boyce. But when you have done a man a foul injustice for
years, you must make him some kind of secret reparation. So, by making
him welcome, I did what I could.
Now I don't know whether I ought to set down a trivial incident
mentioned in my diary under the date of the 15th August, the day before
Boyce left Wellingsford to join his regiment in France. In writing an
account of other people's lives it is difficult to know what to put in
and what to leave out. If you bring in your own predilections or
prejudices or speculations concerning them, you must convey a distorted
impression. You lie about them unconsciously. A fact is a fact, and, if
it is important, ought to be recorded. But when you are not sure
whether it is a fact or not, what are you to do?
Perhaps I had better narrate what happened and tell you afterwards why
I hesitate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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