Disabled veterans -- England -- Fiction; People with disabilities -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- England -- Fiction
In spite of the atheistical Gedge, Phyllis believed in God and Jesus
Christ and the Ten Commandments. She also believed in a host of other
simple things, such as Goodness and Truth, Virtue and Patriotism. The
arguments and theories and glosses that her father and Randall wove
about them appeared to her candid mind as meaningless arabesques. She
could not see how all the complications concerning the elementary
canons of faith and conduct could arise. She appreciated Randall's
intellectual gifts; his power of weaving magical words into rhyme
fascinated her; she was childlike in her wonder at his command of the
printed page; when he revealed to her the beauty of things, as the
rogue had a pretty knack of doing, her nature thrilled responsive. He
gave her a thousand glimpses into a new world, and she loved him for
it. But when he talked lightly of sacred matters, such as God and Duty,
he ran daggers into her heart. She almost hated him.
He had to expend much eloquence and persuasion to induce her to listen
to him. He had no wish to break any of the Commandments, especially the
Third. He professed penitence. But didn't she see that her treatment of
him was driving him into a desperate unbelief in God and man? When a
woman accepted a man's love she accepted many responsibilities.
Phyllis stonily denied acceptance.
"I've refused it. You've asked me to marry you and I told you I
wouldn't. And I won't."
"You're mixing up two things," he said, with a smile. "Love and
marriage. Many people love and don't marry, just as many marry and
don't love. Now once you did tell me that you loved me, and so you
accepted my love. There's no getting out of it. I've given you
everything I've got, and you can't throw it away. The question is--what
are you going to do with it? What are you going to do with me?"
His sophistries frightened her; but she cut through them.
"Isn't it rather a question of what you're going to do with yourself?"
"If you give me up I don't care a hang what becomes of me." He came
very near and his voice was dangerously soft. "Phyllis dear, I do love
you with all my heart. Why won't you marry me?"
But a hateful scene rushed to her memory. She drew herself up.
"Why are my father and you persecuting me to marry you?"
"Your father?" he interrupted, in astonishment. "When?"
She named the day, Wednesday of last week. In desperation she told him
what had happened. The poor child was fighting for her soul against
great odds.
"It's a conspiracy to get me round to your way of thinking. You want me
to be a pro-German like yourselves, and I won't be a pro-German, and I
think it wicked even to talk to pro-Germans!"
She rose, all sobs, fluster, and heroism, and walked away. He strode a
step or two and stood in front of her with his hands on her shoulders.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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