The Redemption of David CorsonGoss, Charles Frederic
General
The Redemption of David Corson
Goss, Charles Frederic
Society of Friends -- Fiction
Waiting long before he answered, as if to reflect and be sure, David
said quietly but confidently, "Pepeeta, I cannot see any reason why we
should not begin our lives over again, starting at this very place from
which we made that false beginning three long years ago. We cannot go
back, but, in a sense, we can begin again."
"But can we really begin again?" she asked. "How is it possible? I do
not see! We are not what we were. There is so much of evil in our
hearts. We were pure and innocent three years ago. Is it not necessary
to be pure and innocent? And how can we be with all this fearful past
behind us? We cannot become children again!"
"I have thought much and deeply about it," David responded. I know not
what subtle change has taken place within me, but I know that it has
been great and real. My heart was hard, but now it is tender. It was
full of despair, and now it is full of hope. I am not as innocent as I
was that night when you heard me speak in the old Quaker meeting-house,
or rather I am not innocent in the same way. My heart was then like a
spring among the mountains; it had a sort of virgin innocence. I had
sinned only in thought, and in the dreamy imaginations of unfolding
youth. It is different now; a whole world of realized, actualized evil
lies buried in the depths of my soul. It is there, but it is there only
as a memory and not as a living force. There must in some way, I cannot
tell how, be a purity of guilt as well as of innocence, and perhaps it
is a purity of a still higher and finer kind. There was a peace of mind
which I had as an innocent boy, which I do not possess now; but I have
another and deeper peace. There was a childish courage; but it was the
courage of one who had never been exposed to danger. There is another
courage in my heart now, and it is the courage of the veteran who has
bared his bosom to the foe! I know not by what strange alchemy these
diverse elements of evil can have become absorbed and incorporated into
this newer and better life, but this I do know, and nothing can make me
doubt it--that while I am not so good, yet I am better; while I am not
so pure, yet I am purer. Yes, Pepeeta, I think we can go back on our
track. We can be born again! We can once more be little children. I
feel myself a little child to-night--I who, a few days ago, was like an
old man, bowed and crushed under a load of wretchedness and misery! God
seems near to me; life seems sweet to me. Let us begin again, Pepeeta.
We have traveled round a circle, and have come back to the old starting
point. Let us begin again."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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