Nationalists -- Philippines -- Fiction; Philippine fiction (Spanish) -- Translations into English; Philippines -- History -- Fiction
That night she scarcely slept at all. Dreams and nightmares, some
funereal, some bloody, danced before her sight and woke her often,
bathed in cold perspiration. She fancied that she heard shots, she
imagined that she saw her father, that father who had done so much for
her, fighting in the forests, hunted like a wild beast because she had
refused to save him. The figure of her father was transformed and she
recognized Basilio, dying, with looks of reproach at her. The wretched
girl arose, prayed, wept, called upon her mother, upon death, and there
was even a moment when, overcome with terror, if it had not been
night-time, she would have run straight to the convento, let happen
what would.
With the coming of day the sad presentiments and the terrors of
darkness were partly dissipated. The light inspired hopes in her. But
the news of the afternoon was terrible, for there was talk of persons
shot, so the next night was for the girl frightful. In her desperation
she decided to give herself up as soon as day dawned and then kill
herself afterwards—anything, rather than enditre such tortures! But the
dawn brought new hope and she would not go to church or even leave the
house. She was afraid she would yield.
So passed several days in praying and cursing, in calling upon God and
wishing for death. The day gave her a slight respite and she trusted in
some miracle. The reports that came from Manila, although they reached
there magnified, said that of the prisoners some had secured their
liberty, thanks to patrons and influence. Some one had to be
sacrificed—who would it be? Juli shuddered and returned home biting her
finger-nails. Then came the night with its terrors, which took on
double proportions and seemed to be converted into realities. Juli
feared to fall asleep, for her slumbers were a continuous nightmare.
Looks of reproach would flash across her eyelids just as soon as they
were closed, complaints and laments pierced her ears. She saw her
father wandering about hungry, without rest or repose; she saw Basilio
dying in the road, pierced by two bullets, just as she had seen the
corpse of that neighbor who had been killed while in the charge of the
Civil Guard. She saw the bonds that cut into the flesh, she saw the
blood pouring from the mouth, she heard Basilio calling to her, “Save
me! Save me! You alone can save me!” Then a burst of laughter would
resound and she would turn her eyes to see her father gazing at her
with eyes full of reproach. Juli would wake up, sit up on her petate,
and draw her hands across her forehead to arrange her hair—cold sweat,
like the sweat of death, moistened it!
“Mother, mother!” she sobbed.
Meanwhile, they who were so carelessly disposing of people’s fates, he
who commanded the legal murders, he who violated justice and made use
of the law to maintain himself by force, slept in peace.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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