Families -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Older people -- Fiction
The two came in together at that second. Clover’s mustache just showed
over the top of the largest bunch of violets ever constructed, and
Burnett bore with assiduous care a bouquet of orchids tied with a Roman
sash.
Aunt Mary leaned back and shut her eyes. If it hadn’t been for her
smile, they might possibly have feared for her life.
But she was only momentarily stunned by surpassing ecstasy.
“You’d better put some water in the bath-tub, Granite,” she said,
recovering, “nothing else will be big enough.”
The four young men drew up chairs and rivalled her smiles with theirs.
“I d’n know how I ever can thank you,” said the old lady warmly. “I’ve
always had such a poor opinion o’ life in cities, too!”
“Life in cities, my dear Miss Watkins,” screamed Mitchell, “is always
pictured as very black, but it’s only owing to the soft coal—not to the
people who burn it.”
Aunt Mary smiled again.
“I guess the bath-tub will be big enough to keep ’em fresh,” she said
simply, and Mitchell gave up and dried his forehead with his
handkerchief.
They dined at home upon this occasion and afterwards took two carriages
for the theater. Aunt Mary, Jack, Clover, the American Beauties and the
violets went in the first, and what remained of the party and the
floral decorations followed in the second.
“I mean to smoke,” said that part of the second load which habitually
answered to the name of Mitchell. “There is nothing so soothing when
you have thorns in your legs as a cigarette in your mouth.”
“Too—too;” laughed his companion. “Jimmy! but our aunt is game, isn’t
she?”
“To my order of thinking,” said Mitchell thoughtfully scratching a
match, “Aunt Mary has been hung up in cold storage just long enough to
have acquired the exactly proper gamey flavor. It cannot be denied that
to worn, worldly, jaded mortals like you and me, the sight of fresh,
ever bubbling, youthful enthusiasm like hers is as thrilling and
trilling and rilling as—as—as—” he paused to light his cigarette.
[Illustration: Aunt Mary and Her Escorts.]
“Yes, you’d better stutter,” said Burnett. “I thought you were running
ahead of your proper signals.”
“It isn’t that,” said Mitchell, puffing gently. “It is that I suddenly
recollected that I was alone with you, and my brains tell me that it is
a waste of brains to use them in the sense of a plural noun with you.
The word in your company,—my dear boy—only comes to me as a verb—as an
active verb—and dear knows how often I have itched to apply it
forcibly.”
Then they drew up in front of the theater and saw Aunt Mary being
unloaded just beyond.
“Great Scott, I feel as if I was a part of a poster!” said Burnett,
diving into the carriage depths for the last lot of flowers.
“I feel as if I were a part of the Revelation,” said Mitchell, “I
mean—the Revel-eration.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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