The Relentless CityBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Relentless City
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
British -- United States -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
of her countrymen without the slightest protest, and never, even by the
smallest inflection of voice or manner, was other than absolutely civil
to everyone she asked. Indeed, the perfect evenness of his manner added
its quota to the constraint that lay between them; in her heart of
hearts she knew that he often found neither interest nor entertainment
in her guests, and the chilled perfection of his mode of conducting
himself towards them but served as a barrier the more.
But what most stood between them was her undefinable suspicion about
Mrs. Emsworth. On that day the cankerworm had entered, and since then
she had again and again asked herself whether Bertie's affection for
her had ever been of the same quality as the love she had felt for
him. She remembered with horrible distinctness his words, 'I want
to be fire,' and they, which at the moment had seemed to her but an
expression of the ever unsatisfied yearning of love, which always,
however perfect, still desires to go yet deeper, now wore a more
sinister interpretation, and were to her the kindling of a secret
heart-burning. What if this natural and simplest interpretation was
true? What if he had never really felt fire for her?
Such was the abbreviated reading of her spiritual diary down to the
day when she drove to see her father. Though he had been in London all
this last month, she had scarcely set eyes on him, so immersed had he
been in the railroad business, and it was with a childish eagerness
that she looked forward to having a long talk with him. In the trouble
of her mind she felt great longing for that kind, unwearied affection
which he ever had for her--an affection not very demonstrative, but
extraordinarily real and solid. The effusiveness of her mother's love
just now was less satisfying to her, for Mrs. Palmer had been for the
last six weeks a mere whirling atom in the mill of social success; and
while one hand, so to speak, was entwined round Amelie's neck in a
maternal embrace, the other would be scribbling notes of invitation and
regret to the flower of England's nobility.
She got to the house rather late for lunch, and was struck by the
resemblance which the moral atmosphere of the dining-room bore to that
of Basle railway-station. There was the same sense that everybody was
just going to catch a train; that they were exchanging last words as
they took their hurried meal. Her father, next whom she sat, was an
exception, for he ate his thin slices of toasted Hovis bread and drank
his milk with the deliberateness which his digestion demanded; but
everyone else seemed to be unable to attend to what was going on at
this moment, because they all were thinking of what they would be doing
the next. Even her father, too, seemed rather preoccupied, and from
time to time she saw that his eyes were fixed on herself with a certain
anxious look, which was removed as soon as he saw she observed it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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