The Relentless CityBenson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
General
The Relentless City
Benson, E. F. (Edward Frederic)
British -- United States -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
Judy's rather short nose went in the air.
'Luckily, it does not matter much what that sort of woman thinks,' she
said.
Sybil did not reply for a moment.
'You don't see my difficulty, then,' she said; 'my difficulty, my
indecision, is that I am not certain whether she is right or not. Look
at it this way: I was attracted by Mr. Bilton; I felt for him that
which I believe in me does duty for love. I liked him and I admired
him; I liked the fact that he admired me. Now, all the time that I
liked and admired him this thing had happened. I liked the man who had
done that. What difference, then, can my knowing it make?'
Judy looked at her in surprise.
'If he had happened to be a murderer?' she said.
'I should not ever have liked him.'
'I don't know what to say to you,' said Judy, really perplexed. 'What
you tell me is so unlike you.'
'I know it is. I have changed, I suppose. I think America changed me.
What has happened? Is it that I have become hard or that I have learned
common-sense? What I cannot make out is whether I would sooner have
learned this or not. If I had not learned it, I should be now engaged
to him; but, knowing it, shall I marry him?'
'Have you seen him since?'
'No. He has behaved very typically, very cleverly. He neither tried
to see me again nor wrote to me. He has very quick perceptions, I
am sure. I am sure he reasoned it out with himself, and came to the
conclusion that it was better not to approach me in any way for a time.
He was quite right; if he had tried to explain things away, or had
even assured me that there was nothing to explain, I should have had
nothing more to say to him. I should have told him that he and all that
concerned him was a matter of absolute indifference to me. He has been
wise: he simply effaced himself, and he has therefore made me think
about him.'
Sybil paused in front of the looking-glass, and smoothed her hair with
an absent hand. Then she turned round again.
'You will see,' she said. 'He will follow me to England. I don't think
you like him, Judy,' she added.
'My approbation is not necessary to you.'
'Not in the least; but why don't you?'
'Because I am old-fashioned--because we belong to totally different
generations, you and I. I don't like motor-cars, either, you see; and
a person's feeling for motor-cars is a very good criterion as to the
generation to which he belongs.'
Sybil laughed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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