The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
"Gentlemen, I begin to have some little hope now;" Sir Roland said to
us, as soon as we had finished an excellent dinner, as his guests, at
the _Cockles_ Club--for so everybody calls the "Horatius Cocles" at
Westminster Bridge. There were twenty of us there, all M.P.'s; and not
one would have feared to take a header off the bridge, having Mr.
Panclast under his arm. "To-morrow the fight begins; and the enemy
(through his own currish nature) affords us one more chance. If he had
taken up the dust-pan first, with the regiment behind him that sucks his
buttons, he must have swept everything before him. But in dread of
O'Woundy, and Digger, he takes up the craze every Briton cries shame at,
before he has thoroughly gagged them. I need not remind you, that public
opinion, as it used to be called, is against this Bill, more than all
the others put together. But public opinion is a dead letter now; since
the Press tried to pass their own for it. And even if it had the Press
to back it, the Hecatons would light their pipes with it. To me it
appears that our last chance lies in the ghost, long expatriated, of
patriotism; if only it might for one half-hour revisit the glimpses of
this English moon. But what says our excellent and powerful ally, the
newly elected of Silverside?"
Bill, though he had only got his seat three days, had already made two
speeches; and being always full of argument, he was glad to make
another. But, as he made another, containing the very same observations
in the House, next day, I need not report what he said just now. Not
that I would blame any man, for saying the same things twice, or twenty
times. No man can put a new head to his hammer, every time he thumps a
block of coal; and we Britons used to be a fine block of Wallsend, hard
to splinter, and impossible to crack, without fifty good thumps in the
hole of each other. The Government knew this, and made their fire of the
rubble.
Our case, though the best that could possibly be found, seemed likely to
be a bad one. Mr. Thong, who knew exactly how every vote would go,
reported that the best we could hope for was a minority of fifty. Every
Irishman, of course, would vote for the glory of Ireland, and the
disgrace of Great Britain. Except some half-dozen, who had been in our
Army, or Navy, and still had some regard for the old flag. So that our
hearts were very gloomy, when the great debate began.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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