The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
General
The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
The day after that again was Sunday, when the rule of our house, and of
most houses in Maiden Lane, was to lie in bed until nine o'clock, and
have breakfast at ten, and attend to the dinner till dinner-time, and
saunter in the fields towards Highgate, if the weather was fine in the
afternoon, and to go to church, or chapel, sometimes, if there was
nothing else to do in the evening; and then have a good supper, and be
off to bed. But now mother said, and my father was quite unable to
gainsay it, that, being in a country place like this, where everything
depends upon example, with my father acknowledged to be an Admiral--not
only because of his coat, and occasional d--ns, and general demeanour,
but also because he had shaken his head, when requested to look at a
ship through a spy-glass for twopence, and told the ancient tar that he
had seen a deal too much of that--moreover with Tommy adored by all the
aristocracy of the neighbourhood, and by the brave sailors, and people
of less refinement, accepted as an angel, the least we could do was to
make an effort, and try to be at church by eleven o'clock.
My father replied, that as concerned himself there need be no difficulty
whatever, because as soon as he had done his breakfast, his only
preparation was to smoke a pipe; but he did not believe that it was
possible for mother, (who had spent all Saturday in the village-shops,
because she had come in such hurry from home, that she had brought
nothing fit to be seen in) to have all her toggery spick-and-span, and
her hair done up to the nines, so early. But, if only to show him how
little he knew, my mother was ready before he was; and father declared
that she ruined his sleep, having got up to see the sun rise upon the
sea, and stopped up to see herself grow brighter, and brighter, in the
looking-glass. Dear mother had a great mind not to go to church, with
such a wicked story ringing in her ears; until father told her that she
looked stunning, and was fit to be put on a transparent lid--the lid of
a box of transparent soap.
"Dear Bucephalus, now you see," she said, as she placed her primrose
glove, on the sleeve of his blue coat with brass buttons, "one little
portion perhaps of the reason, which led me to decline an interview,
that night, with Lady Towers-Twentifold. My main reason was, of course,
that I knew so thoroughly well what ladies are. If I had allowed her to
see me, and satisfy all her great curiosity, about this wonderful
darling of a Tommy, the chances are ten to one, that her ladyship would
never have invited him to Twentifold Towers. But now, I intend that he
shall go there; and what will the Windsors say to that?"
"Well, that was a very fine reason, Sophy. But I don't see the other,
that I ought to see."
"Then Tommy is sharper than you, ten times. But walk a little better, if
you please, my dear. Who can take you for an Admiral, if you drag your
feet like that?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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