The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
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The Remarkable History of Sir Thomas Upmore, bart., M.P., formerly known as "Tommy Upmore"
Blackmore, R. D. (Richard Doddridge)
Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Fiction; Satire
Dear mother sent me half a crown in stamps, for fear of my changing the
half-sovereign, and related a beautiful dream she had enjoyed, about me,
and Professor Megalow, standing on the whale, with our wings spread out.
"She knew, from all the pictures, what a whale was like, and hoped (for
the sake of my new overcoat) I kept out of the way, when he spouted.
And, if I could bring a piece of genuine bone, for the sake of her
stays, it would be such a comfort, for everything now was adulterated;
and their want of spring ran into her. And then, she added, that she
did not think I had better write a line to Polly Windsor (though she
sent me a message from Polly, to say that I ought to have done it long
ago), because it was not so well to go too far, and create expectations,
which might come to nothing. Her own opinion was, that after my last
fly, and the high society it led to, there was no telling what might be
before me, in the family way, and otherwise. But above all, she begged
me, for her dear sake, not to trust to the grand dinners I got here, and
their turtle and their venison, and their Aspic jelly, but to keep the
tongue of the buckle of my lead-belt in the third hole from the end;
for, if the wind took me, out over the sea, what could Lady Twentifold,
and the whale, and even the great Professor do?"
I was quite content to save fingers from pen, in the direction of Polly
Windsor. Polly was very well in her way; when she chose to be pleased,
and look pretty. Moreover, she was a very well-grown girl, with broad
shoulders, and big arms, and long brown hair, and her feet so truly a
pair, that she never could tell her right shoe from her left. And from
her mother she had inherited so much strength of dignity, that, if I
went to kiss her, when the mood was not in liking, or if she saw me
trying it with any of her enemies, she would take me up with one hand,
and lay me on the cinders. But I must not say too much of that; or Sir
William Chumps will be down upon me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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