If this is not done, he would be the victim of as great a robbery as was perpetrated on the unfortunate landlords by the Land Act. I have a yarn or two on the subject of drink which may be appropriately related here. Old David Burus, the steward at Ardrum, County Cork, was a great character who had got inextricably confused between the Council of Trent and the Trant family in the vicinity, and no amount of explanation could ever enlighten him. Directly he had begun to be jovial, he used to say:-- 'My blessing on Councillor Trent, who put a fast on meat, but not on drink.' And he proved the devoutness of his gratitude by conscientiously getting drunk every Friday. That recalls to my mind the case of the illustrious gentleman--also a fellow-countryman, I regret to say--who committed burglary and murder when there was an opportunity, but religiously refrained from eating meat on Friday. Reverting to David Burus: on one occasion I remonstrated with him on the amount of whisky he drank. 'I did drink a great deal of whisky, and I would have drunk more.' was his reply, 'if I had known it was going to be as dear as it is now.' He evidently regretted not having thoroughly saturated himself with alcohol. It was the only way in which he could have possibly increased his consumption. He was wont to say that if he had known the trick Mr. Gladstone was going to play on honest, God-fearing men, with sound stomachs and a decent appetite, by imposing a ten shilling duty on every gallon of whisky, he would have drunk his fill beforehand, even if _delirium tremens_ had been the penalty. Such hard drinking as his, and so calmly avowed, must, even in the south of Ireland, be fortunately rare, for few constitutions can stand conversion into animated whisky vats. There was a farmer at Kanturk railway station who confided to the stationmaster that he himself on the previous evening had been as drunk as the very devil. A parson on the platform, overhearing him, said:-- 'You make a mistake, my friend, the devil does not drink. He keeps his head cool for the express purpose of watching such as you.' The countryman replied:-- 'You seem to be very well acquainted with the respected gentleman's habits, your riverince.' And then they walked off different ways. Which reminds me of another clerical incident. A parish priest within twenty miles of Tralee, who subsequently left the Church--I will not say on account of his thirst, though, as that was unquenchable, it no doubt conduced to his retirement--came into the parlour of the manager of the bank with two farmers to have a bill discounted. The manager, having ascertained the farmers were good security, cashed the bill and gave the proceeds to the priest. He was very much surprised on the following day at the two farmers walking into his room with the money. 'What's the meaning of this?' says he.