The Reminiscences of Sir Henry Hawkins (Baron Brampton)Brampton, Henry Hawkins, Baron
History
The Reminiscences of Sir Henry Hawkins (Baron Brampton)
Brampton, Henry Hawkins, Baron
Brampton, Henry Hawkins, Baron, 1817-1907; Judges -- Great Britain -- Biography
Suddenly he stopped laughing from disappointment at my not seeing the
joke. He repeated it--"fast day, fast day"--then _glared at me_, and
his underlip fell. At last the old man tossed his head, and whipped
his boot with his crop. I have no doubt I deprived that man of a great
deal of happiness; for if anything is disappointing to a punster, it
is not seeing his joke. He had not done with me yet, however, and
before abandoning me as an incorrigible lunatic, asked if I would like
to see Naples.
"Naples! By all means, but not at this time of year."
"Oh, I don't mean the town--no, no; but if you don't mind a little
mud, I'll show you Naples. Come along this lane."
"Watercourse, you mean. I don't mind a little mud," said I; "it washes
off, whoever throws it"--and I looked to see what he thought of that,
knowing he would tell it at dinner.
"Good!" said he; "devilish good! Wash off, no matter who throws
it--devilish good!"
Down we came off the gate, and through the mud we went, he leading
with a fat chuckle.
"You don't see the joke, Hawkins--you don't see the joke about that
fast day;" and he gave me another look with his great blue eyes.
I didn't know it was a joke; I thought it was the mare's name, and I
heard him mutter "Damn!"
"This is the way," he said angrily. We seemed to travel through an
interminable cesspool, but at last reached the open, and coming to
another gate, he extended his arms on it, after the manner of a
squire, and said,--
"There, there's _Naples_. Isn't she lovely?"
"Where?" I asked.
"There; and a prettier mare you never saw. Look at her!"
"She's a beauty--a real beauty!" I exclaimed.
He breathed rather short, and I felt easy. His manner, especially the
distending of his cheeks, showed me that he was about to bring forth
something--a pun of some sort.
"Do you know," he asked, with another turn of his eyes, "_why_ I call
her _Naples_?"
"No, I haven't the faintest idea. Naples? no."
"Well," he said, "I've puzzled a good many. I may say nobody has ever
guessed it. I call that mare _Naples_ because she's such a beautiful
_bay_."
I was glad I was not sitting on the gate, for I might have fallen
and broken my neck. As I felt his eyes staring at me I preserved a
dignified composure, and had the satisfaction of hearing him mutter
again, "Damn!"
"This is our way," said he.
I have no doubt he thought me the dullest fool he ever came near.
Our adventures were not ended. We went on over meadow and stile until
we came to "The Park," a tract of land of great beauty and with trees
of superb growth. He was sullen and moody, like one whose nerves had
failed him when a covey rose.
I saw it coming--his last expiring effort. In the distance was a
beautiful black mare, such as might have carried Dick Turpin from
London to York. He was watching to see if I observed her, but I did
not.
"Look," he said, in his most coaxing manner, "don't you see that mare
yonder--down there by the spinny?"
"What," I said, "on the left?"
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