The Restless SexChambers, Robert W. (Robert William)
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The Restless Sex
Chambers, Robert W. (Robert William)
American fiction -- 20th century
"Oh, yes. It won’t do for me to make advances to you."
"When have you made any advances?"
"I came out here. I wanted you to—kiss me. Oh, this isn’t going to do
at all. I can see that, now!——" She framed her face in her hands and
shook her head. "Jim—dearest, dearest of men—it won’t do. I didn’t
realize that I was caring for you in this way. Why," she added, her
grey eyes widening, "it is almost dangerous!"
"The thing to do," he said, reddening, "is to tell Oswald."
"I can’t tell him!"
"You’ve got to, if you fall in love with me."
"Oh, Jim, it would be too heartless! You don’t know——"
"No, I don’t!" he exclaimed impatiently, "and I think it’s time I did!
You can’t be in love with two men at the same time."
She blushed furiously:
"I—he never even touched my fingers with his lips! And you—you take me
into your arms with no more hesitation than if I were a child.... I
believe I’ve behaved like one with you. I’m old enough to be ashamed,
and I’m beginning to be."
"Is it because you’re married?"
"Yes, it is! I can’t let myself go. I can’t let myself care for—for
what you do—to me. I came out here to give you the chance—ready to
learn something—desiring to. I mustn’t take any more lessons—from you."
He said:
"I am going to tell Oswald that I care for you, Steve."
To his astonishment, tears flashed in the grey eyes:
"If you do," she said, "it will be like killing something that makes no
resistance. It—it’s too cruel—like murder. I—I couldn’t bring
myself——"
"Why? Did you marry him out of pity?"
She bit her lip and stood staring into vacancy, one hand tightening on
the stair-rail, the other worrying her lips.
"I tell you," she said slowly, her gaze still remote, "the only thing to
do is to do nothing.... Because I’m afraid.... I couldn’t bear it.
I’d have to think of it all my life and I—I simply couldn’t endure
it.... You mustn’t ask me any more."
"Very well," he said coldly. "And I think we’d better go back to the
studio——"
As he passed her he paused, waiting for her to precede him. She turned;
her hand fell from the banisters and hung beside her; but the slender
fingers groped for his, slipped among them, tightened, drawing him
partly toward her; and her left foot moved forward a trifle, blocking
his way and bringing them closely confronted.
"I—love you," she faltered. "And I don’t know what to do about it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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