He was in a double dilemma. If he had to choose between Miss Tancred
and Mrs. Fazakerly his choice would never be made. On the other
hand, if he decided for both, his comfort would be more insecure
than ever. There would be jealousy to a dead certainty; in all mixed
households that was where the shoe pinched. To pursue that vulgar
figure, the Colonel's daughter was like a pair of old and easy shoes
made by a good maker, a maker on whom he could rely; a wife would be
like new boots ordered rashly from an unknown firm. They would be
his best pair, no doubt, but your best pair is generally the
tightest. He had some trying years before him; and well, a man does
not put on new boots for a long uphill scramble.
So the Colonel's breast was torn with internecine warfare, desire
battling with habit, and habit with desire. No wonder if in that
awful struggle the fate of one insignificant individual counted for
nothing. Frida Tancred never had counted.
Durant admitted that his imagination was apt to work in somewhat
violent colors, and that there might be a point of view from which
the Colonel would tone down into a very harmless and even pathetic
figure; for Mrs. Fazakerly he had no terrors. But there was the
girl. It was hard to say exactly what he had done to her. Apparently
he had taken her soul while it was young and squeezable, and had
crushed it till it fitted into all his little habits; he had
silenced her heart with commonplaces, and dulled her intellect with
his incomprehensible fatuity. And through it all he had been the
most innocent little gentleman alive. Oh, yes, he was pathetic
enough in his way. He himself was only an instrument in the hands of
irrepressible Nature who couples wild soul with tame, hot blood with
cold blood, genius with folly, and makes her sport of their unhappy
offspring. And Nature was playing a glorious game with Frida Tancred
now.
That was Durant's second idea; the thought that had struck him so
unpleasantly after his last interview with her. To put it coarsely,
he had a suspicion, a fear, that Miss Tancred was beginning to fall
in love with him. He might have known that it would happen. It was
just the sort of damnable irony most likely to pursue that
unfortunate woman. There could be no mistake about it; he knew it;
he knew it by many subtle and infallible signs. Somewhere he had
heard or read that no nice man ever knows these things. That was all
nonsense; or, if it had any meaning at all, it could only mean that
no nice man ever shows that he knows. The fact remained that if he
had loved her he would not have known.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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