He sat still after its perusal—stunned. The morning sun streamed in
through the three long windows of his fine room, and found him, perhaps
on hour later, still sitting motionless, the letter in his hand. The
anguish of surprise was not his, for, after all, the letter contained
mere confirmation of long-latent suspicion. But it came as a fearful
blow nevertheless. Here was a man who had expected little of men and
women, but he had got less than he expected after all. He had believed
that he had cherished no illusions, and dreamed no dreams; but the
modest hopes that he had allowed himself to entertain of faith in one
human being, whom he loved, were dashed. The cynic’s disgust, as well
as the man’s heart-wrung sorrow, was his portion.
Yet Herries was a lawyer, keen of vision, and trained in the detection
of deceit, and to him that letter actually did smack false at the first
reading, and afterwards also. He had heard much, as was inevitable, of
the sturdy independence of the peasant poet; certainly this letter was
not the letter of such a man. It was a suspiciously subservient, an
actually cringing letter, and in every line rang false. Yet Herries
knew, and recognised at once, the poet’s handwriting; for Burns’s
letters at that day were often handed round the town as curiosities, and
the young lawyer had seen at least a score. A certain wearied languor
had come over Herries, numbing his faculties, so that in this matter
they had almost ceased to serve him. He told himself that his love was
dead—nipped by this long frost of cold suspicion, and ruined forever by
this base association with men and ways unclean and devious. Yet he was
a just man, and he would not condemn Alison unheard. He had already
given her the chance of explanation and defence; he would give it her
again. He would seek her out, and he would confront her with the
letter—ask her if it were true or false. He would make her speak; and
those grave lips that he had kissed so often: those candid eyes—that
indescribably childlike wide innocence of brow that had been Alison’s
charm, rather than and (to him) beyond all beauty—well, he should learn
once for all if they lied, and were only the fair outer covering of
deceit and blackness. It was impossible that he could be absent again
during office hours, for the previous day had been a blank one, and the
pressure of the accumulated work of the past weeks was becoming daily
more unendurable. But in the evening he would go to the Potterrow, and
put an end to the mysteries that destroyed his peace.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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