The unfortunate espouser of the cause of the fair having thus been derided out of court, I took up the next question. It concerned a long-standing dispute as to the rights of the clergy of various denominations to enter the local Board Schools,--this was in the days far preceding the present educational deadlock,--and I felt that I must walk warily. I talked at large about liberty of conscience and religious toleration, but realised as I rambled on that my moderate views and want of bigotry in one direction or the other were pleasing no one. John Bull is a curious creature. You may get drunk and beat your wife, and he will tolerate you; you may run amok through most of the Decalogue, and he will still be your friend; but venture to worship your Maker in a fashion which differs one tittle from his own, and he will put down his pint-pot or desist from sanding the sugar and fell you to the earth. I was glad to get away from this subject, leaving the audience far from satisfied, and turn to the next question. It said-- _Is the Candidate aware that the important township of Spratling is entirely without a pier or jetty of any description?_ "Certainly I am aware of it," I replied, trying hard to remember where the place was. The audience began to titter, and I felt uneasy. My questioner, a saturnine gentleman in the pit, rose to his feet and continued-- "And if returned to Parliament, will you exert your influence to see that a jetty is constructed there at the earliest opportunity?" "Cer----" There was a very slight movement beside me. Robin was leaning back unconcernedly in his chair, but on the table under my nose lay a sheet of paper bearing these words in large printed capitals-- SPRATLING IS TEN MILES FROM THE SEA! It had been a near thing. "Certainly," I continued. "On one condition only," I added at the top of my voice, above the rising tide of mocking laughter,--"on condition that you, sir, will personally guarantee a continuous and efficient service of fast steamers between Spratling and--the sea-coast!" It was not a brilliant effort. I think I could have made more of it if I had had more time. But it served. How they laughed!