Mate selection -- Fiction; Women -- Suffrage -- United States -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
The emptiness of the house clamored in her ears. She found herself
looking, with a sort of fascination, at the disorder of the
chairs--which stood just as Howard had pushed them aside when they
brought Flora in. On the arm of the morris chair was a brass plate
heaped with cigarette-ashes. For some obscure reason those ashes seemed
to her unendurable--how they had glowed, and faded, and glowed again,
filling the room with warm and lazy smoke, while she and Howard--She
lifted the little tray and threw the ashes, almost with violence, into
the fireplace. The movement broke the spell that had held her there
looking at things--at the learned books, filmed with dust, at the
half-burned candles, at the withered roses on the table. Zip nosed about
at that water-soaked spot on the rug, and she spoke to him sharply; then
went over and closed the piano.
After that, it was easier to go out to the kitchen, though there was
still a tremor at the thought of those empty rooms overhead. Spread out
on the table were the cards, just as Flora had left them. In the sink
was the clutter of unwashed dishes.... Fred drew a long breath, opened
all the windows, lighted a fire in the stove, and went to work.
Of course the exertion of packing and cleaning was a relief. There was a
great deal to do. So much that she felt at first that she should need
another day to get through with it. But her capability was never more
marked--by noon she began to see the end. She ate her luncheon walking
about, holding a sandwich in one hand and packing books with the other.
She had arranged with her landlord to send a van to the cottage for the
piano, and it was also to carry her things back to town; she had thought
of every detail. It was the way she did all her work--drawing up leases,
or talking to women's clubs, or, of late, "making things pleasant" at
Payton Street. Even now, shrinking from the work that must be done
up-stairs, where it was all so empty--so full of Flora!--she was
efficient, methodical, thorough. She scanted nothing. Yet no amount of
busyness dulled the ache of misery which had goaded her out here to be
alone--but she was impatient at herself for feeling the ache.
It was so unreasonable to be miserable!
When everything was done--the kitchen tidied, books and clothing and
personal odds and ends packed, even the little white curtains in the
empty rooms up-stairs, all limp and stringy from the creeping October
fogs, pressed and folded and put away--it was still early afternoon. But
there was no train into town until five; she would give herself up to
the silence.
She went out on the porch and sat down on the lowest step in the
sunshine. Zip ran about, chased a squirrel, then, curling up on her
skirt, went to sleep. Sometimes she rubbed his ears, sometimes stared
out over the lake--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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