Antisemitism -- Fiction; Jews -- Austria -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Vienna (Austria) -- Fiction
At this moment George no longer had any doubt that Leo knew everything.
He felt as embarrassed for a few seconds as though he were responsible
to him, was irritated at his own embarrassment and was grateful to
Leo for not appearing to notice it. This evening they talked about
practically nothing except music. Leo inquired after the progress of
George's work, and it came about during the course of the conversation
that George declared himself quite willing to play one of his newest
compositions to Leo on the following Sunday afternoon. But when they
took leave of each other, George suddenly had the unpleasant feeling
of having passed with comparative success a theoretical examination,
and of being faced to-morrow with a practical examination. What did
this young man, who was so mature for his years, really want of him?
Was George to prove to him that his talent entitled him to be Anna's
lover or her child's father? He waited for Leo's visit with genuine
repugnance. He thought for a minute of refusing to see him. But when
Leo appeared with all that innocent sincerity which he so frequently
liked to affect, George's mood soon became less harsh. They drank tea
and smoked cigarettes and George showed him his library, the pictures
which were hanging in the house, the antiquities and the weapons, and
the examination feeling vanished. George sat down at the pianoforte,
played a few of his earlier pieces and also his latest ones as well as
the ballads, which he rendered much better than he had done yesterday
at Ehrenbergs', and then some songs, while Leo followed the melody with
his fingers, but with sure musical feeling. Eventually he started to
play the quintette from the score. He did not succeed and Leo stationed
himself at the window with the music and read it attentively.
"One can't really tell at all so far," he said. "A great deal of it
indicates a dilettante with a lot of taste, other parts an artist
without proper discipline. It's rather in the songs that one feels ...
but feels what?... talent ... I don't know. One feels at any rate that
you have distinction, real musical distinction."
"Well, that's not so much."
"As a matter of fact it's pretty little, but it doesn't prove anything
against you either, since you have worked so little--worked very little
and felt little."
"You think ..." George forced a sarcastic laugh.
"Oh, you've probably lived a great deal but felt ... you know what I
mean, George?"
"Yes, I can imagine well enough, but you're really making a mistake;
why I rather think that I have a certain tendency to sentimentalism,
which I ought to combat."
"Yes, that's just it. Sentimentalism, you know, is something which
is the direct antithesis to feeling, something by means of which
one reassures oneself about one's lack of feeling, one's essential
coldness. Sentimentalism is feeling which one has obtained, so to
speak, below cost price. I hate sentimentalism."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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