Antisemitism -- Fiction; Jews -- Austria -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Vienna (Austria) -- Fiction
On a dark blue May night they lay in two chairs covered with tarpaulins
on the deck of the ship that was taking them to Genoa. An old Frenchman
with clear eyes, who had sat opposite them at dinner, stood near them
for a while and drew their attention to the stars that hung in the
infinitude like heavy silver drops. He named some of them by name,
politely and courteously, as though he felt it incumbent upon him to
introduce to each other the shining wanderers of heaven and the young
married couple. He then said good-night and went down into his cabin.
But George thought of his lonely journey over the same route and under
the same sky in the previous spring after his farewell from Grace. He
had told Anna about her, not so much from any emotional necessity, as
in order to free his past from that atmosphere of sinister mystery
in which it often seemed to Anna to disappear, by the conjuring up
into life of a specific shape and the designation of a specific name.
Anna knew of Labinski's death, of George's conversation with Grace at
Labinski's grave, of George's stay with her in Sicily. He had even
shown her a picture of Grace; and yet he thought to himself with a
slight shudder how little Anna herself knew of this very epoch of his
life, which he had described to her with an almost reckless lack of
reserve; and he felt how impossible it was to give any other person any
idea of a period which that person had not actually lived through, and
of the contents of so many days and nights every minute of which had
been full of vivid life. He realised the comparative insignificance of
the little lapses from truth of which he frequently allowed himself to
be guilty in his narrative, compared with that ineradicable taint of
falseness to which every memory gives birth on its short journey from
the lips of one person to the ear of another. And if Anna herself at
some later time wanted to describe to some friend, some new lover, as
honestly as she possibly could, the time which she spent with George,
what after all could that friend really learn? Not much more than a
story such as he had read hundreds of times over in books: a story of
a young creature who had loved a young man, had travelled about with
him, had felt ecstasy and at times tedium, had felt herself at one with
him, and yet had frequently felt lonely. And even if she should make
an attempt to give a specific account of every minute ... there still
remained an irrevocable past, and for him who has not lived through it
himself the past can never be the truth.
The stars glistened above him. Anna's head had sunk slowly upon his
breast and he supported it gently with his hands. Only the slight
ripple in the depths betrayed that the ship was sailing onward. But it
still went on towards the morning, towards home, towards the future.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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