Antisemitism -- Fiction; Jews -- Austria -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Vienna (Austria) -- Fiction
The meeting with Heinrich had meant a disillusionment to George.
After the first words of greeting the author had as usual only spoken
about himself, and that, too, in tones of the deepest contempt. He
had come at last to the conclusion that he did not really possess any
talent but only intelligence, though that of course to an enormous
degree. The thing about himself that he cursed the most violently was
the lack of harmony in the various phases of his character, which
as he well knew not only occasioned suffering to himself but to all
who came near him. He was heartless and sentimental, flippant and
melancholic, sensitive and callous, an impossible companion and yet
drawn towards his fellow-beings ... at any rate at times. A person with
such characteristics could only justify his existence by producing
something immense, and if the masterpiece which he felt obliged to
create did not appear on the scene very soon he would feel that as
a decent man he would be obliged to shoot himself. But he was not a
decent man.... There lay the rub. "Of course you won't shoot yourself,"
thought George, "principally because you haven't got the pluck to do
so." Of course he did not give expression to this thought but on the
contrary was very sympathetic. He talked of the moods to which after
all every artist is liable, and inquired kindly about the material
conditions of Heinrich's life. It soon transpired that he wasn't in
such a bad way by any means. He was even leading a life which as it
appeared to George was freer from anxiety than it had ever been before.
The maintenance of his mother and sisters for the ensuing years had
been assured by a small legacy. In spite of all the hostile influences
which were at work against him the fame of his name was increasing from
day to day. The miserable affair with the actress seemed to be finished
once and for all, and a quite new relationship with a young lady
which was as free and easy as could possibly be desired, was actually
bringing a certain amount of gaiety into his life. Even his work was
making good progress. The first act of the opera libretto was as good
as ready, and he had made numerous notes for his political comedy.
He intended next year to visit the sittings of Parliament and attend
meetings, and coquetted with the admittedly childish fantastic plan
of posing as a member of the social democratic party, trying to tack
himself on to the leaders and getting himself taken on, if he could get
the chance, as an active member of some organisation or other, simply
so as to get a complete insight into the party machinery. Still, you
know, when he had been talking to any one for five minutes on end, why
he had got him absolutely. He would find in some casual word, whose
significance would completely escape any one else, a kind of whirlwind
which tore the veil from off the souls of men. His dream was to prove
himself a master of imagination in his opera poem and a master of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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