Antisemitism -- Fiction; Jews -- Austria -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Vienna (Austria) -- Fiction
She was very well, as usual, and to-day was a particularly fine day.
She had been left quite to herself since the morning, for Frau Golowski
had to go to town again to look after her family. It was really not
so bad to be so completely alone with oneself. One could sink then
into one's dreams undisturbed. They were of course always the same,
but they were so sweet that one did not get tired of them. She had
let herself dream about her child. How much she loved it to-day, even
before it was born! She would never have considered it possible. Did
George understand it too?... And as he nodded absent-mindedly she shook
her head. No, no ... a man could not understand that, even the very
best and kindest man. Why, she could feel the little being already
moving, could detect the beating of its tender heart, could feel this
new incomprehensible soul breathe within her, just in the same way as
she felt the flowering and awakening within her of its fresh young
body. And George looked in front of him as though ashamed that she
was facing the near future. It was true of course that a being would
exist, begotten by himself, like himself and itself destined again to
give life to new beings; it was true that within the blessed body of
that woman, for which he had ceased for a long time now to feel any
desire, there was swelling, according to the eternal laws, a life that
only a year ago had been undreamt-of, unwished-for, lost in infinity,
but which now was forcing its way up to the light like something
predestined from time immemorial; it was true that he knew that he was
irresistibly drawn into that forged chain that stretched from primal
ancestor to future descendant and which he grasped as it were with
both hands ... but he did not feel that this miracle made so potent an
appeal to him as it really ought.
And they spoke to-day more seriously than usual about what was to
happen after the child's birth. Anna, of course, would keep it with
her during the first week, but then they would have to give it to
strangers; but at any rate it should live quite near, so that Anna
could see it at any time without any difficulty.
"I say, dear," she said quite lightly and suddenly, "will you often
come and visit us?"
He looked into her arch smiling face, took both her hands and kissed
her. "Dearest, what am I to do? Tell me yourself. You can imagine how
hard it will be for me. But what else is there for me to do? I've got
to make a beginning. I've already told you we've given notice to leave
the apartment," he added hastily, as though that cut off all retreat.
"Felician is probably going to Athens. Yes, it would of course be fine
if I could take you with me. But I am afraid that isn't possible.
There ought above all to be something more or less certain, I mean one
ought--ought at least to be certain that I shall remain in the same
place for a longish time."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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