Antisemitism -- Fiction; Jews -- Austria -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Vienna (Austria) -- Fiction
He heard voices and looked down; the Professor's coachman had caught
hold of the arm of the housemaid, who was only slightly resisting.
Perhaps the foundations are being laid here too of a new human life,
thought George, and turned away in disgust. Then he went back into his
room, carefully filled his cigarette-case out of the box that stood
on the table, and it suddenly seemed to him that his excitement was
baseless and even childish, and it occurred to him: "My mother, too,
once lay like that before I came into the world, just as Anna is doing
now. I wonder if my father walked about as nervously as I am doing? I
wonder if he would be here now if he were still alive? I wonder if I
would have told him at all? I wonder if all this would have happened
if he had lived?" He thought of the beautiful serene summer days by
the Veldeser Lake. His comfortable room in his father's villa swept
up in his memory and in some vague way, almost dreamwise, the bare
attic with the creaking floor in which he now found himself seemed to
typify his whole present existence in contrast to that former life
which had been so free from care and responsibility. He remembered a
serious talk about the future which he had had a few days ago with
Felician. Immediately after this thought there came into his mind the
conversation which he had had with a woman in the country, who had
introduced herself with the offer to take charge of the child. She and
her husband possessed a small property near the railway, only an hour
away from Vienna, and her only daughter had died in the previous year.
She had promised that the little one should be well looked after, as
well, in fact, as though it were not a stranger's at all, and as George
thought of this he suddenly felt as though his heart were standing
still. It will be there before dark.... The child.... His child, but a
strange woman was waiting somewhere to take it away with her. He was
so tired after the excitement of the last few days that his knees hurt
him. He remembered having previously felt similar physical sensations,
the evening after his "leaving-examination" and the time when he had
learnt of Labinski's suicide. How different, how joyful, how full of
hope had been his mood three days ago, just before the pains began! He
now felt nothing except an unparalleled dejection, while he found the
musty smell of the attic more and more unpleasant. He lit a cigarette
and stepped on to the balcony again. The warm silent air did him good.
The sunshine still lay on the Sommerhaidenweg and a gilded cross shone
over the walls from the direction of the churchyard.
He heard a noise beneath him. Steps? Yes, steps and voices too. He
left the balcony and the room and rushed down over the creaking wooden
staircase. A door opened, steps were hurrying over the floor. The next
moment he was on the bottom step opposite Frau Golowski. His heart
stood still. He opened his mouth without asking.
"Yes," she nodded, "a boy."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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