Antisemitism -- Fiction; Jews -- Austria -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Vienna (Austria) -- Fiction
"Never? I don't quite know. All kinds of possibilities run through
one's mind. But of course I never seriously thought of it. Besides, how
could one?" He told Heinrich, and not for the first time, of how the
Professor had explained the child's death. It had been an unfortunate
accident through which one to two per cent. of unborn children were
bound to perish. As to why this accident should have taken place in
this particular case, that, of course, the Professor had not been able
to explain. But was accident anything more than a word? Was not even
that accident bound to have its cause?
Heinrich shrugged his shoulders. "Of course.... One cause after the
other and its final cause in the beginning of all things. We could of
course prevent the happening of many so-called accidents if we had more
perception, more knowledge and more power. Who knows if your child's
death could not have been prevented at some moment or other?"
"And perhaps it may have been in my own power," said George slowly.
"I don't understand. Was there any premonitory symptom or...."
George stood there staring fixedly at the little mound. "I'll ask you
something, Heinrich, but don't laugh at me. Do you think it possible
that an unborn child can die from one not longing for it to come, in
the way one ought to--dying, as it were, of too little love?"
Heinrich put his hand on his shoulder. "George, how does a sensible man
like you manage to get hold of such metaphysical ideas?"
"You can call it whatever you like, metaphysical or silly; for some
time past I haven't been able to shake off the thought that to some
extent I bear the blame for it having ended like that."
"You?"
"If I said a minute ago that I did not long for it enough I didn't
express myself properly. The truth is this: that I had quite forgotten
that little creature that was to have come into the world. In the last
few weeks immediately before its birth, especially, I had absolutely
forgotten it. I can't put it any differently. Of course I knew all the
time what was going to happen, but it didn't concern me, as it were. I
went on with my life without thinking of it. Not the whole time, but
frequently, and particularly in the summer by the lake, my lake as you
call it ... then I was.... Yes, when I was there I simply knew nothing
about my going to have a child."
"I've heard all about it," said Heinrich, looking past him.
George looked at him. "You know what I mean then? I was not only far
away from the child, the unborn child, but from the mother too, and in
so strange a way that with the best will in the world I can't describe
it to you, can't even understand it myself to-day. And there are
moments when I can't resist the thought that there must have been some
connection between that forgetting and my child's death. Do you think
anything like that so absolutely out of the question?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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