The Road to UnderstandingPorter, Eleanor H. (Eleanor Hodgman)
General
The Road to Understanding
Porter, Eleanor H. (Eleanor Hodgman)
Marriage -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
"There was never another like us." The son's voice was very low.
There was a moment's silence. The doctor, his beseeching eyes on the
younger man's half-averted face, was groping in his mind for the right
words to introduce the subject which all the evening had been at the
door of his lips--Helen. He felt that now, with Burke's softened heart
to lend lenience, and with his lonely life in prospect to plead the need
of companionship, was the time, if ever, that an appeal for Helen might
be successful. But the right words of introduction had not come to him
when Burke himself began to speak again.
"And it's almost as if I'd lost both father and mother," he went on
brokenly; "for dad talked so much of mother. To him she was always with
us, I think. I can remember, when I was a little boy, how real she was
to me. In all we did or said she seemed to have a part. And always, all
the way up, he used to talk of her--except for the time when--"
He stopped abruptly. The doctor, watching, wondered at the white
compression that came suddenly to his lips. In a moment it was gone,
however, and he had resumed speaking.
"Of late years, dad has seemed to talk more than ever of mother, and he
spoke always as if she were with us. And now I'm alone--so utterly
alone. Gleason--how ever am I going to live--without--dad!"
The doctor's heart leaped with mingled fear and elation: fear at what he
was about to do; elation that his chance to do it had come. He cleared
his throat and began, courageously, though not quite steadily.
"But--there's your wife, Burke. If only you--" He stopped short in
dismay at the look that had come into Burke Denby's face.
"My wife! My wife! Don't speak of my wife now, man, if you want me to
keep my reason! The woman who brought more sorrow to my father than any
other living being! What do you think I wouldn't give if I could blot
out the memory of the anguish my marriage brought to dad? I can see his
eyes now, when he was pleading with me--_before_ it. Afterwards--Do you
know what a brick dad was afterwards? Well, I'll tell you. Never by so
much as a look--much less a word--has he reproached or censured me. At
first he--he just put up a wall between us. But it was a wall of grief
and sore hurt. It was never anger. I know that now. Then, one day,
somehow, I found that wall down, and I looked straight into dad's eyes.
It was never there again--that wall. I knew, of course, that dad had
never--forgotten. The hurt and grief were still there,--that I could so
disobey him, disregard his wishes,--but he would not let them be a wall
between us any longer. Then, when it all turned out as it did-- But he
never once said, 'I told you so,' nor even looked it. And he was kind
and good to Helen always. But when I think how I--I, who love him
so--brought to him all that grief and anguish of heart, I-- My wife,
indeed! Gleason, I never want to see her face again, or hear her name
spoken!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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