"I am not wretched," said Gertrude; and again she frowned slightly,
and again her face looked old, and her voice sounded hard. "I feel
that there has been a chapter of misery and of degradation in the
story of my life; but I have closed it for ever. I will never speak of
it again, I will never think of it again, if by any effort of my will
I can keep my mind clear of it. I am young, strong, clever, and
ambitious; and I am not the first woman who has made a tremendous
mistake, and incurred a dreadful penalty, in the outset of her life;
but I daresay few, if any, have had such a chance of escape from the
consequences as I have. I will take the fullest advantage of it. And
now, Mrs. Bloxam, we will talk of this no more. Let that man's name be
as dead to you and me as all feeling about him is dead in my heart for
ever; and help me to make a new line in life for myself."
Mrs. Bloxam looked at her silently, and sighed. Then she said:
"You are a strange young woman, and have suffered some great wrongs, I
am sure. It shall be as you wish, my dear, and I will try to forget
that you ever were anything but Grace Lambert. And now let us talk of
affairs--yours and mine, if you like; for I have something to tell
you, and to consult you about."
Gertrude looked round her, and smiled. The scene of their interview
and its associations were strangely familiar to her. It seemed as
though it were only the other day she had sat in that same room,
summoned to a consultation with Mrs. Bloxam about the expenditure of
her quarter's allowance, and the fashion of her summer costume. The
same bureau lay open, disclosing a collection of tradesmen's books and
bills of well-known aspect. Gertrude knew in which of the little
drawers the reserve of prospectuses, in which the innumerable and
incomparable advantages of the Vale House were set forth, was kept. A
low chair, with a straight, upright, uncompromising back, whereon a
very frosty-looking bunch of yellow dahlias had been worked in harsh
worsted by a grateful pupil, stood in the position it had always
occupied within Gertrude's memory, beside the bureau. It was known as
"the client's chair." Moved by a familiar impulse, Gertrude rose and
seated herself in this chair, and looked up at Mrs. Bloxam, with the
old look so completely banished from her face, with so exactly the
same girlish smile which she remembered, that Mrs. Bloxam started.
"You might have never gone away," she said, "for all the change there
is in you now. What a chameleon you are, Gertrude--"
"Grace!" said Gertrude once more; and then the consultation, whose
details there is no need to follow, as they will be made plain by
their results, proceeded without interruption.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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