Gertrude had unusual power in the distribution of the subjects on
which she chose to exercise her thinking faculty, and in the absolute
and sustained expulsion from her mind of such topics as she chose to
discard. This faculty was useful to her now. There were certain phases
and incidents of her life with Gilbert Lloyd which she never thought
about. She deliberately put them out of her mind, and kept them out of
it. Among these were the occurrences which had immediately preceded
the strange bargain which had been made between her and her husband.
Of that bargain herself she thought with ever-growing satisfaction,
remembering with complacent content the obscurity in which she had
lived, which rendered such an arrangement possible, without risk of
detection. But she never travelled farther back in memory than the
making of that bargain. So then she determined to carry it out to the
fullest, to have all the satisfaction out of it she possibly could. "I
am determined I will bring myself to such freedom that the sight of
him could not give me even an unpleasant sensation--that the sound of
his name announced in the room with me should have no more meaning for
me than any other sound devoid of interest."
Gertrude was more happily circumstanced now for the carrying out of
this determination. All her surroundings were delightful and novel,
she was in high health and spirits, and her prospects for the future
were bright and near. The climate was enchanting, the hours and the
ways of foreign life suited her; and her masters pronounced her voice
all that could be desired in the case of a daughter of sunny Italy,
and something altogether admirable and extraordinary in the case of a
daughter of foggy Albion. She worked very hard. She kept her ambition,
her purpose steadily before her, and her efforts to obtain the power
of gratifying it were unrelaxing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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