"_I have purposely avoided mentioning Gertrude to you until the
present stage of my letter should have been reached, because I have
much to say concerning her of a more serious nature than the details
of her daily occupations, and a report of her health and looks. The
latter are good, the former are as usual. She still retains unaltered
her pleasure in the mountain scenery, the primitive people, and the
flowers. She is still the same to me--an affectionate daughter and a
charming companion. But some time has now passed since the death of
her unhappy husband, and its influence is telling upon her. I have not
been blind to the change in her; and a few days ago, for the first
time, I mentioned you, and elicited from her an avowal which I am
about to disclose to you, addressing you in my double character (and
of course without her knowledge) of Gertrude's father and your oldest,
and I think I may add truest, friend. She is still attached to
you--and in spite of all the sorrow and all the equivocal experiences
which have been hers--with a fresh, vivid, and trusting affection,
which would suffice, or I am very much mistaken in my estimate of both
of you, to make your lives, if united, happy. I do not entertain any
doubt that your feelings towards her remain unchanged, and it is on
this supposition that I now address you. You have known me long, my
dear Miles, and as well as a man of your age can know a man of mine;
and when I tell you that I regret more deeply, bitterly, and
unavailingly than anything else--it is my lot, the common one of old
age, to look back upon the past with vain bitterness and regret--the
having hesitated before the opinion of the world in doing my duty by
the woman I loved, and following to a practical issue my own
conviction of the means by which my true happiness might have been
secured, you will not suspect me of unduly underrating, or carelessly
despising, the opinion and the judgment of the world. The
circumstances must be very exceptional indeed under which I would
counsel any man, holding a fair position in society and endowed with
the duties and privileges of a landed proprietor as you we, to defy
the opinion of society, and to turn his back on those duties and
privileges. But yours is a very exceptional position, and I do counsel
you to do both these things. Your heart is not in Rowley Court, nor
are you capable of fulfilling your duties as you are at present. Make
new ones for yourself, my dear Miles. Yield to the inclination which
you have partly confessed, and which I have very distinctly perceived,
and turn your back upon the scene which has been overclouded for you
since your boyhood by a sorrow which has ever been, and must remain, a
mystery to you. Geoffrey Challoner's crime is buried in the grave of
Gilbert Lloyd; but you will never lay its ghost while you remain at
Rowley Court. I am neither a credulous nor a superstitious man; but I
have seen more instances than one of the passing away of the 'luck' of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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