immeasurable mistake and an incalculable evil, to have given
themselves such redress and relief as the law would have afforded them
only at the cost of much expense and publicity? Mrs. Bloxam
entertained a conviction that the latter view was much the more
probable one to be taken by Lord Sandilands; but, in any case, how
should she stand with him? Not only should she be convicted of having
deceived him, and of gross negligence and breach of trust as regarded
the young girl placed under her care, but she should be proved guilty
of having received money for Gertrude's maintenance and education for
two years after they had ceased to be any concern of hers--after the
girl's husband had undertaken the one, and the world had become the
vehicle of the other. There was a double awkwardness and difficulty in
this part of Mrs. Bloxam's puzzle. It was almost as unpleasant to
admit the fact to Gertrude as to have it stated to herself by Lord
Sandilands. Under no circumstances would it do for her to quarrel with
Gertrude, that was clear. If she ran the risk of contracting another
marriage, the secret of the first would remain in Mrs. Bloxam's
possession, and she would always be in Mrs. Bloxam's power. It must
not be supposed that the woman was altogether heartless and
cold-blooded in making these calculations: she had real affection for
Gertrude at the bottom of them all; but she was of a cool temperament
and businesslike habits, and she thoroughly understood the useful art
of classifying her sentiments, and not permitting one order of them to
interfere with another out of time and place. The position was a
difficult one; and it was the business aspect of it she had to
consider just now. A comfortable home for the remainder of her life, a
reasonable amount of the kind of pleasure and society which she liked,
and a necessity for only the most trifling inroads upon her savings:
such were the blessings to the attainment of which Mrs. Bloxam looked
forward as the legitimate value of her lien upon Gertrude. In the
event of her declining to run the risk of marriage, and remaining on
the stage, Mrs. Bloxam's material interests would be almost as secure;
so that she could afford to consider the matter with tolerable
impartiality. She did not like to face the discussion which must take
place between her and Gertrude, because of the money-transaction
involved in it. Could she avoid acknowledging it, she thought, and
trust to Lord Sandilands, though he must find it out, being too
careless and indifferent to think about it? _That_ would be very nice,
only she had no reason to suppose that Lord Sandilands was by any
means careless or indifferent in money-matters. It was very
unpleasant; but it must be left to right itself somehow; and as for
the other, and greater breach of trust? After all, the girl eloped
from the Vale House; she did not assist or connive at the affair; and
she might excuse herself to Lord Sandilands on the plea of the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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