Rome -- History -- Republic, 265-30 B.C. -- Fiction
She spoke eagerly, perhaps wildly; for the very part of self-denial, which
she was playing, stirred her mind to its lowest depths; and the great
change, which had been going on within for many hours, and was still in
powerful progress, excited her fancy, and kindled all her strongest
feelings; and, as is not unfrequently the case, all the profound vague
thoughts, which had so long lain mute and dormant, found light at once,
and eloquent expression.
Paullus gazed at her, in astonishment, almost in awe. Could this be the
sensual, passionate voluptuary he had known two days since?—the strange,
unprincipled, impulsive being, who yielded like the reed, to every gust of
passion—this deep, clear, vigorous thinker! It was indeed a change to
puzzle sager heads than that of Arvina! a transformation, sudden and
beautiful as that from the torpid earthy grub, to the swift-winged
etherial butterfly! He gazed at her, until she smiled in reply to his look
of bewilderment; and then he met her smile with a sad heavy sigh, and
answered—
"Most inconsistent, I! alas! that I should say it, far worse than
inconsistent, most false to truth and virtue, most recreant to honor! Have
not I, whose most ardent aspirations were set on glory virtuously won,
whose soul, as I fancied, was athirst for knowledge and for truth, have
not I bound myself by the most dire and dreadful oaths, to find my good in
evil, my truth in a lie, my glory in black infamy?—Have not I, loving
another better than my own life, won thee to love, poor Lucia, and won
thee by base falsehood to thy ruin?"
"No! no!" she interrupted him, "this last thing you have not done, Arvina.
Awake! you shall deceive yourself no longer! Of this last wrong you are as
innocent as the unspotted snow; and I, I only, own the guilt, as I shall
bear the punishment! Hear first, why I release you from your oath; and
then, if you care to listen to a sad tale, you shall know by what infamy
of others, one, who might else have been both innocent and happy, has been
made infamous and foul and vile, and wretched; a thing hateful to herself,
and loathsome to the world; a being with but one hope left, to expiate her
many crimes by one act of virtue, and then to die! to die young, very
young, unwept, unhonored, friendless, and an orphan—aye! from her very
birth, more than an orphan!"
"Say on," replied the young man, "say on, Lucia; and would to heaven you
could convince me that I have not wronged you. Say on, then; first, if you
will, why you have released me; but above all, speak of yourself—speak
freely, and oh! if I can aid, or protect, or comfort you, believe me I
will do it at my life’s utmost peril."
"I do believe you, Paullus. I did believe that, ere you spoke it. First,
then, I set you free—and free you are henceforth, forever."
"But wherefore?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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