The following adroit dialogue appeared in a humorous periodical beneath the picture of a Scottish minister addressing one of two dishevelled youths: Minister (to small boy who has been fighting): “Ah, laddie, think what wad hae bin done tae ye if ye had kilt that laddie!” Small Boy: “I’d a bin had up.” Minister: “Ah, yes, ye’d a bin had up, but something waur than that.” Small Boy: “I’d a bin hang, mebbie.” Minister: “Yes! but something waur than that wad a happen’d.” Small Boy: “After that I’d a bin pit in Madame Tussaud’s.” The family name often appears in the public Press with more rhyme than reason. The following verse published at the time of the Hague Peace Conference in 1899 is somewhat apropos at the present moment: When all are agreed in word and deed That pacific intentions shall rule, When armies disband on every hand And tin soldiers are not used at school, When rifles and swords are shown at Tussaud’s As inventions quite obsolete, Then we might be pleasant, but just at present We’re thinking ’bout keeping our Fleet. When the portrait model of Mr. Rudyard Kipling was added to the Exhibition, that gentleman was made the subject of the following lines: What though from distant climes I, young, unknown, Swift from obscurity Sprang to a throne? What though aforetime Worship was paid me? Though offers fabulous Publishers made me? What though the critics all Pleasantly flattered me? What though all this befell (As if _this_ mattered) me? _Now_ with sublime head Strike I the stars; Better is this to me Than all their “pars.” Modelled in wax at last, Now they do show me With other famous ones, Madame Tussaud me! Now may I pose supreme! Now to me, _à la_ “Crowned heads,” the public grant Their great Valhalla! Now may the universe Echo my name; Now nothing more remains, This--this is FAME! CHAPTER LI Last scene of all--Madame Tussaud’s appearance and character--Her _Memoirs_, published in 1838--Her last words. If I have recounted many stories relating to incidents that have taken place long after Madame Tussaud passed away, it is because the flow of anecdote prompted by her genius has continued in an unbroken course down to the present times. But the atmosphere of romance that pervades this history belongs in the main to her days, and it is only fitting that with the close of her days it should practically come to an end.